To the land of endless p-days…

Endless p-days are a LOT more confusing that I thought…

This is what I've been up to since I've been home… :)

The most recent-
I WENT TO THE SINGLES WARD TODAY! It was kind of crazy, but I just felt like I needed to go! So I just did it! I felt very peaceful there! And I met a lot of new fun people which is exactly what I wanted! So I'm excited about that so far!! ;)

I GOT A JOB AT SNOW SPRINGS ELEMENTARY.
Which is actually where I went to school! Crazy right?!
I applied for a lot of jobs, and got an interview with almost all of them! It was a really stressful week interviewing and trying to decided. A lot of prayer was involved, and a lot of figuring out how Heavenly Father was trying to communicate with me. I got a last minute phone call on the day I was going to accept another job. It was the vice principal of Snow Springs asking me if I'd come in for an interview for a para-educator in a special needs class. I almost didn't… but then decided that's one of the jobs that I really wanted! SO! I went in for an interview!
Long story short- I took the job! And I love it so far! I work in a class closely with the teacher with 11 1st-4th graders with special needs. It's hard work- but 100% worth it! :)

MOVIES….
My first one was Dolphin Tale 2.
Yes I know. Haha completely lame. I'd been home like a week and half. Darren (my moms husband) won free tickets for it on the radio and they were going with my step brother and sister…. so there ya go!! It became my first movie.
But the REAL first movie that I claim… Catching Fire.
Of course.

I've really only watched a few more movies since then…
Saturday's Warrior
Despicable Me 2
Frozen (that was STILL 3 weeks after I got home)
Annnnddddd that's pretty much it.
I've also watched some of Psych… but got bored so I'm pretty much done with that.
And the last episode of The Office. I didn't finish the rest of the episodes, so I just watched the last one!

THE THING I'VE LOVED THE MOST
HANGING OUT WITH MY FAMILY OF COURSE!!! :)
I literally just love it so much!! That's all I really want to do and will sacrifice a lot to do it. :) I just love these people.

MY PLANS
Go back to BYU in January.
Keep being a missionary :)

18 months.

I cannot believe that I have been home over a month!

It all just seems unreal. When you’re about to leave for you mission, the mission seems like a dream. Once you’re out there, you’re sure home life was definitely the dream. But the second you get home, every companion, transfer, area, and hour you just spend doing the best thing you’ve done in your life, now becomes the fairytale dream.

I couldn’t have asked, or even dreamed of a better way or place to spend a short year and a half of my time, than serving our Lord. In the end- I feel like I was the one that benefited the most, so the words service or sacrifice don’t even fit.

I gained far more than I gave. The lives I touched were not because I came to Florida, or because of my decision to serve.

It was because of our Savior. It was because of the spirit that I did all I could to worthily hold as an imperfect representative of

Jesus Christ.

He is reason I was called and chosen to serve.

He is the reason I am who I am now.

He is the reason the people I met lives were changed.

He is who made this all happen.

He is who carried me through the toughest of times.

The time I spent was His. The rest of my time here will forever be His.

Nothing can ever make me doubt that for a second.

Everything we have, and will have, is Because of Him.

I love my Savior. I love Him because he’s given me my family, and the opportunity to be with them forever. I love Him because he gave me the chance to help others have the same blessings I tend to take for granted.

That’s what being like our Savior really means. Sharing and serving those who don’t have what we have. I believe it’s the greatest form of Christ-like love.

That’s why the mission and doing missionary work brings so much happiness. J

I loved it more than anything in the whole entire world, but I know I get to embark on new challenges and adventures now and I can’t wait!!!

I’m EXTREMLY grateful for the change I had to serve a full time mission. I know a lot of people don’t have that opportunity, so I will forever be grateful for the trials I went through, and the things I learned. I was very lucky, and will never take that for granted. J

I want to thank everyone who made it happen! Not only my Heavenly Father and Savior who really made it happen, but my wonderful mom who supported, encouraged, and listened to my silly complains every step of the way. To Ashley, Karly, and Katelyn, for listening to my stories and for always keeping things humerous (especially with hilarious music videos and pictures). For my extended family supporting me physically and spiritually. For my 13 companions teaching me more than I could ever teach them. For the wonderful President and Sister Cusick (and the Summerhays) and their countless hours of never ending service to the missionaries of the Florida Tampa Mission. For the members of the Vanderbilt Beach, Highlands, University Park, New Tampa, and Sebring wards for loving my companions and I and for literally doing countless things for us all the time.

And last but not least, for all the amazing people I met on my mission! For those I was able to get really close to and teach, and for those who I may have only met once. You are why I served J

I could never really thank everyone who made this all happen, but I hope you know that you helped me change my life! I sincerely thank you J

I LOVE YOU ALL! 

A note on my stance

I want you to know that this scares me, more than most things that I have ever done. My heart is pounding as I write these words. I fear that I could hurt others feelings, damage relationships, and even lose friendships because of my own opinion. But I have a very strong feeling that what I believe and know to be true, needs to be said. I pray that the spirit will direct me in the words I am going to share with you.

Please know that this is my testimony. If it wasn't my testimony it would be ok for you to argue. You can disagree, but I ask that you please be respectful of my own testimony. It is not my intent to argue or go into political issues. I love and respect everyone and this is just so I can make my stance clear, not to bash on others opinions. We are all very different, and are entitled to our own choices and opinions, so I ask you to respect mine and respect others as well.

You probably knew what was coming. Yes. I am going to talk about same-sex attraction and gay marriage.

My stance on the issue is exactly the same as what my church believes. This is because like I have said so many times before I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only true church on this earth today. I sustain fully, without question, President Monson as prophet, seer, and revelator of our church, and his counselors, as well as the quorum of the twelve apostles as leaders of our church.

I know that our Heavenly Father speaks through our prophet President Thomas S. Monson. What our prophet says, is exactly what Heavenly Father wants us to know.

D&C 1:38 says- 
 38 What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my^aword shall not pass away, but shall all be ^bfulfilled, whether by mine own ^cvoice or by the ^dvoice of my ^eservants, it is the ^fsame.

Through that I take everything that our prophet says to heart. I believe every word that comes out of his mouth to counsel us is from our Father in Heaven. The counsel he gives us is the counsel that Heavenly Father is giving us. That should not be taken lightly. 

The LDS church has come out with a website called- mormonsandgays.org 
This website explains everything and more about how our church stands on the topic of same sex attraction. I believe and agree with everything that is put on this website.

In the header of the home page it says- 
"The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters."

That last sentence brings tears to my eyes, "including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters". OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. 
It makes my heart ache when I see fellow members of our church say unkind things to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. In the website our church leaders clearly state that we love them just as much as any other person. 

It also states that our church does believe that the feelings of same sex attraction are real. "The attraction itself is NOT a sin" but just like any other of the feelings we have, we should not act on it. Just like if someone had the desire to smoke, it is not a "sin" until it is acted upon. 

Now to get down to the real issue that has been making me squirm in my seat every time I log onto facebook. 

Here is another statement from the website- 
"The Church’s approach to this issue stands apart from society in many ways. And that’s alright. Reasonable people can and do differ. From a public relations perspective it would be easier for the Church to simply accept homosexual behavior. That we cannot
do, for God’s law is not ours to change. There is no change in the Church’s position of what is morally right. But what is changing — and what needs to change — is to help Church members respond sensitively and thoughtfully when they encounter same-sex attraction in their own families, among other Church members, or elsewhere."

From A Proclamation to the Family written by our brethren- 
"THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

Anyone who has studied the plan of salvation or have been through the temple know that marriage IS ordained of god, and the ONLY way for it to work is between a man and a women. That's how the plan has always been, and that is how it will always stay. 

Our church is NOT trying to force our views on anyone else. People have asked us what our view is on the topic, and we have come out in a mature respectful manner and said that what we believe, is what we have always believed. 

This is my only issue-
I have seen countess friends and family post things that are either for, or against the topic of gay rights or marriage. We need to love one another and accept, like I've already said, that we are all different and that we can, and will, have different opinions. Please be sensitive to others and I ask if you are a member of the LDS church that you be especially careful about what you say to others who do not have the same views. You are the face, and sometimes can be the voice of our church to your non-member friends. I ask that you pray and ask your Father in Heaven if you are unsure about what you should believe. He will NEVER steer you wrong. 

I know that my friends and family who ARE members of the church may not have the same views as our prophets or myself. But I want you to know that I still love you and respect your opinion. If you need help finding what our prophets have said, I encourage you to look at the countless straightforward things the church has put out. I warn you, only things that the church has approved of (lds.org, church magazines like the Ensign, New Era, LDSLiving or mormonsandgays.org like I have said).

I love you all and I hope you know that this is truly out of love and respect to everyone and that I felt like I needed to take a clear stance on the subject. :) 

My worst fear?

This might sound completely pathetic and selfish, but my worst fear right now is getting into a car crash on the way to the MTC.
Even just writing this I sound completely stupid.
But really. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry and go into a state of depression. So I'm going to make this quick. If I died, that would be ok... then I could just serve a mission in heaven. If I didn't die, and was even a little bit injured my mission would have to be pushed back.
Pushed back.
I do not think my poor heart could handle that. I know that sounds completely selfish, but I just want to serve a mission so badly, and it is literally so close I can taste it (I'm not kidding).

To go along with that I will not and CANNOT let any of these things happen-
Serious Diseases or any sickness really
Food Poisoning
Robbery
Car Problems
Weird things that develop like teeth issues or I dunno... skin issues...

I can't think of anymore.

Really ANYTHING that will keep me off my mission. I need to be extremely careful... I think I might just have to lock myself up in my room for 7 days until I know the coast is clear...

This is seriously the most frightening thing in the world to me right now.

Why I am who I am... I have proof.

Sometimes your parents tell you they are your parents.

Sometimes they show you your birth certificate or photos.

But sometimes, you just have plain proof.

This is why I am who I am... you will never doubt again that my parents made me after these... 

I'm pretty sure that I have taken a picture exactly like this before. 

I probably have one like this of me somewhere too... 

This is my ALL time favorite picture of my dad! My mom wouldn't let me hang it up :(

The matching one... at least there isn't one of them together... I wonder if they ever thought that their children would find these... lesson learned... burn the pictures you are questioning.  

Yepppp. That's me. I knew I took after my dad. 

This one is just a beauty! Matching stripped shirts they wore on their honey moon! 

This one shows that she is my creeper sister... seriously... this came right out of a horror movie!

Oh man. She's insane... 

That's our family for ya.... 

This was just a good year!

Here we are again, just as our brilliant selves. 

Ash is my older sister right? We look really happy... 

Here again. I would totally do something like this. My parents did make me (tear)

Here is me in my glory, and Ash in hers. 

Yep. That's my dad. He would have been the best grandpa ever ;) but I'm sure he is right now in heaven :)

My cousins caught it too! I think I have ADD... look at me in the back looking at or through that thing... 

Here is my creeper sister Ashley. 

Yes. This is just awesome.  

Hhahahahahaah I just love Katelyn's face! They look like mini grumpy grandmas

Oh man. This is my favorite picture of Kate and Karl. Seriously! Just stare at it for 10 seconds! Katelyn is NOT crying by the way. That's just a funny face she made. 

Here I am again... 

This is exactly how my wedding will be. I haven't seen like this one in a while... you know, where they ACTUALLY shove it in each other's faces. It's pure magic. And totally my mom and dad to do that. 

This is just... wrong...... hahaha

On the back of this picture is says they were sitting on ice and that's why their faces were like this. Hahaha they would. 

Here is me. Again. I got some weird genes people. 

Here is my dad in his glory :) 

My Farewell

I put this story on my other blog, and if you want to hear anything about my mission you can follow it, or... something. I tried for hours to get it so you could get the posts by email, but I failed. Sorry about that.
Click here to see the story! (boring btw)

A little more about... me

Peanut m&m's are NOT worth the calories. Even if it is chocolate.
I prefer all the blinds and the windows to be open. Because I like the smell of... air... outside.
If I was rich, I would have a house that was basically just windows. Even glass floors...
I hate it when people touch my butt. A lot. If someone slaps my butt I just want to punch them in the face. My mom knows that. She takes advantage of it, but she also pays for it.
I do not like pictures of myself. Unless I am making an abnormal hidious face. The uglier, the better! As you probably already knew...
I tend to over exaggerate... (tend is actually an under-exaguration)
If I could listen to one band for the rest of my life, hands down it would be Rascal Flatts. Album? Feels Like Today.
I punch really hard. Sometimes like a man.
I have strong muscles, and huge arms (thanks mom) it basically looks like I work out a lot. But they aren't worth anything. I am not strong at all.
I think I have weird shaped ears, earphones will not stay in, and if they do, they hurt me!
Sometimes I wish you could just listen to the conversation on the phone like you can go through texts. If someone invents that, they will be my hero. Or, if someone already has, I would like to be informed.
I do not like the new iTunes. At. All.
If I could pick one person to be on a desert island with me for the rest of my life, I'd probably be my mom, Ash, Karl, and Kate. Yeah. I can't pick one. They all make me laugh and I'm glad I'm stuck with them forever :)
I'd rather be a little bit sunburned all the time then my normal pasty white. I got mistaken for tan in a weird lighting the other day. It was a proud moment.
I wish everyone in the world kept a blog. It's pretty much my favorite thing.
I'm obsessed with quotes. I am planning on having a whole wall covered in quotes when I get a house.
I blow off steam or stress by playing the piano. Oddly, I didn't even figure this out on my own. My mom told me and I was like  oh yeah, I do.
I like to lay on the floor... I don't like comfy bed, I feel like I'm suffocating or something... I decided that when I get married and I'm poor, we'll just sleep on the floor... hope he's ok with it...
I could watch the same movie over and over again. I had a friend inform me that I would have seen as many movies as him in my life (which is a lot) if I didn't watch the same movie over and over again.
I can make the craziest faces probably in the world.
Sunday nights make me go crazy for some super odd reason.
I cannot play the piano while people are singing. It completely throws me off! I have no idea why... but I'm working on it.
I have to change the background on my phone every once in a while or I get bored.
I pretty much always have music playing. Either I'm singing it in my head, out loud, or it's playing in the car or the computer.
I hate the dentist.
I talk to much.
I have no clothing style. I copy what other people do, and usually fail at it. For fear of being put on What not to Wear, I counsel myself to not wear sweatshirts and sweats every day. It sometimes works.
I am super flaky. I don't mean, dandruff, I flake on people quite often. It's something I'm working on.
I don't do laundry until it is absolutely necessary.
Country is the only way to go.