I seriously cannot believe that it has been a year since I first started college. That cannot be real. Seriously. It just doesn't feel like that. (I just wrote don't instead of doesn't, I need to stop listening to country.
This is my first bit of free time in a long time. I don't know what to do with myself.
I will be working a lot less though because I am mentally and physically exhausted. I haven't eaten much lately, but I also haven't been able to run because of lack of time. Ya, I could wake up at 5:00 to do it, but then that would be one more thing, lack of sleep. I can't combine all of those together. I just need my sleep.
So I'm here. With new roommates, a new place, new ward, new classes, new goals, new plans, new attitude, and a new job! Whoooo! I'm now going to be a cashier at the Provo Macey's instead of working in the Deli at the Lehi one. I can't tell you how excited I am. Seriously. The hours will work better, and I'll actually have a social life at work.
I guess having a complete mental break down (believe it or not, I haven't had one of those in a while) in front of your mom CAN actually motivate you. Thank goodness.
I had been feeling like nothing was going the way I expected it. Reality check- NOTHING really ever goes the way you plan it. But I have just learned to make the best of it. My attitude is making a huge difference.
I'm crazy busy all the time with work, and getting back on track with school, but I'm actually super excited about this year. Mainly because I know a little better how I'm actually going to do this.
The rundown-
I have a GPA of 1.99. That's right folks, .01 away from NOT being on academic warning and not having to petition to get my Financial Aid back up.
To stay in BYU you have to maintain a 2.0 overall GPA. I was so close. But- I did get put on academic warning and I have one semester to get it back to good standing before I get put on probation.
Probation is NOT an option for me.
So to fix it I went to a counselor talked for a long time about everything. I made goals to go to these free classes they have to help you succeed, talking to a peer counselor once a week, forming study groups, and going to get tested for a learning disability. He even helped me with my schedule. That helped more than I can even explain.
All Tuesday I spent doing those things. I met with a million people and walked to a million places. I changed my schedule, filled out papers, talked a lot, and made appointments. On top of that, I also had class and the Brigham temple open house to go to with my family. Full- but VERY productive day. I haven't been that proud of myself in a long time. I felt like I could conquer the world.
A lot of the people that I actually talked to complimented me on my desire and determination. I felt like I didn't have a lot of that last semester. Hopefully this helps...
So with my financial aid... it's a good thing my mom has some money saved up. Even from working all summer I didn't have enough for tuition. So, to my dismay, I used some of that precious money to pay for tuition. That is what it's meant for. But I just wanted to do it on my own. I might actually be able to do that as well... I talked to a financial advisor and I MIGHT be able to petition for my financial aid! Yes! I'm really hoping this works!
I can't even explain how much I have seen my Heavenly Father in my life right now and how blessed I feel. I was, and still am struggling, and will continue to; but I know that with him I can do anything that I set my mind to. He cares so much about us, and wants us to succeed and do well. We just have to turn to him and ask for help. The key is on our side of the veil.
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