My worst fear?

This might sound completely pathetic and selfish, but my worst fear right now is getting into a car crash on the way to the MTC.
Even just writing this I sound completely stupid.
But really. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry and go into a state of depression. So I'm going to make this quick. If I died, that would be ok... then I could just serve a mission in heaven. If I didn't die, and was even a little bit injured my mission would have to be pushed back.
Pushed back.
I do not think my poor heart could handle that. I know that sounds completely selfish, but I just want to serve a mission so badly, and it is literally so close I can taste it (I'm not kidding).

To go along with that I will not and CANNOT let any of these things happen-
Serious Diseases or any sickness really
Food Poisoning
Robbery
Car Problems
Weird things that develop like teeth issues or I dunno... skin issues...

I can't think of anymore.

Really ANYTHING that will keep me off my mission. I need to be extremely careful... I think I might just have to lock myself up in my room for 7 days until I know the coast is clear...

This is seriously the most frightening thing in the world to me right now.

Mission Prep

I absolutely ADORE mission prep. Like, I would seriously go to it if it was every day. No. Joke. But sadly, it is only once a week. I look forward to it every single time though. Even though I only have it once more before I leave.... reality check..... wait.... no.... it still hasn't hit me. Sorry.

This month they had us go and actually be with a companion and teach a family from a different ward! Crazy huh!? The weird thing was... I wasn't even scared at all. Everyone else was freaking out and so nervous. I was just excited because it was going to feel a little closer to actual missionary work! Ashley and I got assigned to the same "mission" (aka- the Harvest Hills 3rd ward) and family.
I felt the need to pray together before we went in. I just wanted to have a good learning experience and bring the spirit into their home.
Oh, and by the way, the family agreed to do this before hand. They knew we were coming and all were very active. The sprit was already strong when we walked into their house. They had 6 beautiful children and were such a cute happy couple. We introduced ourselves and got to know them a little bit. They even had this adorable little 1 week old baby :) we taught them about the atonement and about forever families. Even though I'm sure they knew all of the things that we taught them we tried to go deeper and just bring the sprit. It also felt very natural to me. I felt like I could share my feelings and that the words were just coming out of my mouth. It is one of the stronger times that I have felt the sprit speak through me. We ended with a prayer and all the kids were smiling. Ash and I were beaming. The father thanked us for bringing the sprit into their home and we I think we both left on cloud nine :)
Overall, it was a wonderful experience. It made me even more excited to go out and teach those who don't know these truths that we have and help them understand and give them hope and comfort for the future :)

Mission Blog!

So maybe I am a little anxious for my mission. I don't want to make this another post about how I'm so excited and that it's sooooo long away (59 days)... because there are a lot of those lately.

But I had to tell you all something...

I have already made the blog for my mission! My mom will post my weekly emails to the blog and then share them on her Facebook. I. Am. So. Excited!!! (whoops... I talked about how I am so excited again)

There is nothing on it yet. Ok. That was obvious. But it's very very simple. But I love it!

If you want to have a look... here ya go! :)

NO. It really hasn't been that long.

I really do feel like I haven't blogged in FOREVER! But guys, looking back, it's really only been... a week and a half... crap. My days are going by slow again. Whhhhhyyy!? 66 days. But it still feels like an eternity. I feel really awful complaining about it, because some people do not even get to go on missions... I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity. And I never want to be ungrateful or take it for granted (wait... that word. Weird...) because I feel so privileged to be able to go serve the Lord. I keep saying the same thing over and over again. My life is in repeat mode right now. Working so much is getting to me. People are still surprised about when I am going. I know someone who got their call this past week and are leaving March 13th. It's rough. But I KNOW THERE IS A REASON (if I keep saying it maybe it will finally stick).
Here are some fun pictures to look at since this was a pretty boring post.

Coming home from the Provo temple after we went through with Riley to get his own endowments. :) 

What we do on Saturday mornings when we are bored. 

Super crooked. I was walking...

The other fun things we do on Saturday morning....

They were actually pretty chill for being old grandmas being pulled around.

The poem we wrote in sacrament meeting... lovely. At least it gets to the point of church on the last line right?  

I know... another picture update...

My cousin Riley got his mission to Portugal!!!

Went to Ash's game at Maple Mountain and then hung out with our favorite cousins at McDonald's till 11:00. This was also the coldest we have ever been in our whole entire life. 

I took this amazing picture of my hilarious Primary class. I'm going to send it to Austin ;) 

Went to Zoo lights with these crazy people. 

Made a paper chain for my mission. On this day there were 101 days. Today there are 100. :) 

Cutest money ever at the zoo. He was staring at me and putting his hand up on the glass. 

More zoo lights. Apparently I look like a man.  

Eating cold stone after zoo lights :) 

Tampa Florida!

I have received my mission call to Tampa Florida, English Speaking (thank goodness), and I'm leaving April 3rd!!!!!!!!!!
You have no idea how long I have waited for this day! I went to the temple this morning, just so I could feel close to my Savior and do some service. It was fun because I was the only one there besides this other woman. She had some family names and she let me do some! I was honored! I got dunked (that so says DUNKED, not DRUNKED...) 10 times... now I know why they only do 5! 10 is quite a lot!!! I felt the spirit so strongly and couldn't help but cry on my way there and back. My Heavenly Father loves me so much and I could just feel my heart overflowing with that peace and love. I always listen to church music/talks/podcasts/books in the car, so I listened to the Called to Serve CD by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on my way to and from the temple. That really got me. Mainly because I knew I was going to get my call today.

Here's the funny part. Karly came home from school to go to the dentist. So when I got home from the temple she was the only one home. I had her play me a song on the piano and sing. While she was I was sitting on our chair in the front room that is right by the window. I get a text from my best friends mom (Cindy Gocken) that says- "The mail is here!" I immediately whip my head around to see the mail man pulling up to our house! I screamed "THE MAILMAN IS HERE!" We both jump, up and literally start jumping up and down! We watched him put what looked like a big white envelope in! We were SO excited! We screamed for a couple seconds and she was like- "Let's go get it!" I told her I didn't want to because I was scared it wouldn't be there. I told her to go and get it. Right as the mailman drove off she ran out there. She grabbed it all and then looked up and me with the biggest grin ever! I yelled- "Is it there!????!!!!" She screams- "YES!" Then for about a minute straight we jumped up and down screaming! I started texting everybody and freaking out. It was the best moment ever. I'm so glad she got to share it with me!
I waited to open it till 6:30 when Karly would get home. She didn't end up getting home till about 6:50. The wait was hard- but I had prayed that I would be calm and patient, and boy was I! Especially compared to my family! I only invited my Grandmas and Danny. I have too much family to invite them all or to just pick some. They can all come to the farewell :)
I didn't even cry when I opened it though! That was miracle! I just couldn't stop smiling! It was the greatest feeling EVER!

If you don't read anything in this post you have to read this-

We had been playing pranks on each other all day. Ashley came up while I was doing my hair and said that Nick had opened my mission call. I believed her and was beyond ticked. I just said- "Well, whatever!" Then my mom had a white envelope from the insurance company and I came downstairs and Daxton hid it under the table I grabbed it and it was opened! Again- I was ticked! I just told them they were stupid (I was so mad) and took it in the other room. Then I looked at it. OH man. SO NOT FUNNY GUYS ;)! Then they were planning on playing a joke on Karly with these glasses they had filed for there talent show. But it was 6:00 which was when we were planning on opening it. Everyone was there- except Katelyn (and Karly of course) so we decided that we would call her friend that she was with and tell her (faking) that I was going.... wait for it....... FLORIDA! This is not even a joke. That was the joking place that we made up. Katelyn totally believed it and was pretty mad that we had opened it without her. She rushed home and we told her it was a joke. It was just hilarious when I opened it and it really was FLORIDA!
After words we went to Texas Roadhouse with my grandma, family, and cousin. It was so much fun!

I just know without a doubt that this is where I am supposed to go. I know that there are people that need to hear the gospel in Tampa and I couldn't be more excited to share this great knowledge of the truth with them! I am going to be an instrument in the Lord's hand and I feel so blessed and honored to even have this great privilege. I love this gospel more than anything and I can't wait for it to be my whole life for a year and half! This church is TRUE! I know that! I could never ever deny it!
Thanks to all my family and friends for all the support that you have given me! I love you all!

Ohhhh... and I finished the Book of Mormon for the 4th time tonight! So cool! I didn't even plan it to be on the same day! Last night I realized that I could actually finish it all today and I was stoked! I know that's it's true! I have asked him every time I finish it and I get the same answer every time that it is true! :)

2 more days...

I have 2 more days until my whole life is changed forever!!! I will be getting my call on Wednesday... I have very mixed emotions. I know I'm going to ball. I know that no matter where I get called it will be where I am meant to go. People have been asking me where I want to go. My first answer- I really don't care! Then they ask, "No. If you could go anywhere!"My second answer- Australia, Italy, France.  Then they ask, "Ok where do you not want to go?" My first answer- I will still go anywhere! I wouldn't even be disappointed if I went to Salt Lake!
Well fellas... I'm here to tell you that is only partially true. I have a strong testimony that where ever I am called it is where I am meant to go. But I also know me... I know that when I open my call and if I see Utah, Idaho, or Arizona I might be slightly disappointed... and that's just me being honest. I have no idea why that would upset me... it's not like I would start crying because I was so sad, I would probably still cry because I knew that is where I am supposed to be...and I would be so happy. It isn't about me, it's about the people that need the gospel and I am just an instrument in His hands. This is no vacation... but I would also like to be a little farther away from home than that. And I know that it would be good for me.
But- clarifying again, I know that I will go where I am supposed to go! Even if it is Provo Utah! :)

Also- I have had 2 different dreams about where I am going to go.
The first one was Saturday night- I had a dream I was going somewhere... I don't remember where because even in my dream I didn't know. People would ask me where I was going and I would say I don't remember and they would be so confused... but wherever I was going I was speaking "WAVES" as a language... hey guess what guys... that is NOT a language... weird dream.

The second dream- This one was last night (Sunday) I had a dream I was going to a place in South America that started with an F (hey guess what guys... this does not exist either). It was the poorest place in the world...

These super weird dreams probably mean nothing... but they are pretty hilarious!

Something BIG

So back in August we had our annual back to school blessings. My cousin Dustin came over for dinner and we had him give us our blessings. I love the amazing spirit that just fills the room when blessings are being given. I feel it is especially strong when my family receives blessings because we can all feel, every single time not only our Heavenly Father and Brother Jesus Christ in the room, but also our own father. This might sound a little weird to some people, but we can feel our own dad speaking to us through the blessing. We have had many times where the priesthood holder acting in God’s name actually says things that my dad wants us to know. The experience is always indescribable. In my blessing I was told that something very big would change in my life this year. I thought… oh crap… I’m gonna get married. Mainly because that was the only thing going through my mind at that time. It scared me a little.

I didn’t realize until a couple days ago that it was not talking about marriage... it was talking about my mission! I just know that Heavenly Father knows us, what we need, and knows what is in our future. This just shows that blessings are straight from our Father in Heaven and that inspiration is real, and I know that will all of my heart.

The second thing I wanted to talk about was my scripture reading. I just love the scriptures. Sometimes I can’t stop reading them! I know that sounds really cheesy, but sometimes I cannot stop reading them! I got so into the scriptures, Preach my Gospel, and Jesus the Christ that I was up till 2:00am the other night. But I have been noticing that I keep reading about the gift of tongues. That scares me! I said that I didn’t want to speak another language (not that this means that I'll speak another language). I just think I could do a lot better if I were to just say things that I want to in my own language… so people could actually understand me… although I do have a first testimony that Heavenly Father will send me where I need to go. That is for sure. Even if I have to speak Chinese… I’m go where I’m mean to go and where I can find the people that need to hear the gospel. 

19 days... I can do this.

19 days till I am done with this semester. Then I can just focus on my mission. Wow the days are going by slow. If I start thinking about my papers or my mission the world just switches to slow motion mode. It is literally killing me… and my grades. School hasn’t seemed to matter since the whole mission thing. Which is really bad. I’m still paying for this thing!

On Sunday our Primary had their program. My kids did SO good. They sang amazing and said their parts perfectly. Since they did so amazing we decided to write Elder Miller (their other teacher) some letters when we were in class. They are wrote the cutest and funniest things. I sent them to him along with another letter. I also got a letter back from him. I cannot believe how much he has changed already! I am so proud of him! Anyways. Just wanted to share the good news. J

I’ve just been preparing for my mission. All I want to do is study the Book of Mormon and Preach my Gospel. I have also decided to take on Jesus the Christ. My Stake President told me that if I read it before my mission it will bring me so many blessings. 

Oh ya...

MY PAPERS ARE IN!
The end.
I can't explain my excitement through this so I'm not even going to try... :)

Tuesday.

Tuesday. 

Whew. 

I THINK I can wait till then. But then I still have at least 3 weeks to wait for my call. Probably longer than that. 

I can't explain how excited I am to go. I have been studying Preach my Gospel, and I just love it! I can't get enough. It just makes me love the gospel and this work so much more than I already did. It makes me realize just how simple the gospel is, but how extremely important it is to do those small and simple things. It may seem like repetition, but it invites the spirit. And by inviting and letting the spirit teach us we will learn new things about our Savior, Heavenly Father, and the gospel that we didn't know before, or maybe that we had forgotten. Our testimonies are either growing or dying. They do not stay the same. We need to be looking for way and praying for ways and opportunities to increase our own personal testimonies. Prayer, Scripture Study, and attending church are just a few of the simple things we can do to help our testimonies grow. I can't wait to share the sweet special gift of the gospel to my brothers and sisters, wherever they may be, and bring them back to the light through the spirit and the my Savior, and Father in Heaven. :) 

Patience... Patience... PATIENCE!!!

OK. I cannot take it anymore! I just want to have my call! Ya.... sure... my papers aren't even in yet, but it's hard being patient for my doctors appointment (Wednesday) my dentist appointment (Wednesday) and meeting with my Stake President (still to be determined). My bishop told me to get my papers in as soon as I can. Just so I can try and beat the huge wave. I got everything filled out the night I met with him. I scheduled the dentist the next day, and I already had the doctors scheduled. The stake president is going to be the death of me. I seriously cannot wait. I have had this impatience disease my whole life. It's a cure. I dunno how I got it. My mom or dad don't have it... when I get married I might actually pass away from it. AHHHHH!! I can't stop thinking about it. Plus I know that even after I get my papers in it will take forever because all of the people putting them in. But the sooner I get them in, the better. I'm trying to stay positive... It's so hard!!! The stake president it out of town next week and I don't think I can wait another week. But he told me to be patient, and I know that I can do it... I just keep praying for Heavenly Father to keep me patient... the sad thing is... it's working. I dunno what I would do if I hadn't prayed for it. I wouldn't be able to handle it. 

Ya this is kind of super pathetic (more than you know actually) that this is my troubles right now. People are out there dying and I'm complaining about waiting for the greatest thing that is going to happen to me in my life. Sorry. That's pretty selfish. I'm just so excited. I've been waiting forever to go on a mission, I should be able to control myself and wait just a little bit longer. 

Thanks for listening. ;)