To the land of endless p-days…

Endless p-days are a LOT more confusing that I thought…

This is what I've been up to since I've been home… :)

The most recent-
I WENT TO THE SINGLES WARD TODAY! It was kind of crazy, but I just felt like I needed to go! So I just did it! I felt very peaceful there! And I met a lot of new fun people which is exactly what I wanted! So I'm excited about that so far!! ;)

I GOT A JOB AT SNOW SPRINGS ELEMENTARY.
Which is actually where I went to school! Crazy right?!
I applied for a lot of jobs, and got an interview with almost all of them! It was a really stressful week interviewing and trying to decided. A lot of prayer was involved, and a lot of figuring out how Heavenly Father was trying to communicate with me. I got a last minute phone call on the day I was going to accept another job. It was the vice principal of Snow Springs asking me if I'd come in for an interview for a para-educator in a special needs class. I almost didn't… but then decided that's one of the jobs that I really wanted! SO! I went in for an interview!
Long story short- I took the job! And I love it so far! I work in a class closely with the teacher with 11 1st-4th graders with special needs. It's hard work- but 100% worth it! :)

MOVIES….
My first one was Dolphin Tale 2.
Yes I know. Haha completely lame. I'd been home like a week and half. Darren (my moms husband) won free tickets for it on the radio and they were going with my step brother and sister…. so there ya go!! It became my first movie.
But the REAL first movie that I claim… Catching Fire.
Of course.

I've really only watched a few more movies since then…
Saturday's Warrior
Despicable Me 2
Frozen (that was STILL 3 weeks after I got home)
Annnnddddd that's pretty much it.
I've also watched some of Psych… but got bored so I'm pretty much done with that.
And the last episode of The Office. I didn't finish the rest of the episodes, so I just watched the last one!

THE THING I'VE LOVED THE MOST
HANGING OUT WITH MY FAMILY OF COURSE!!! :)
I literally just love it so much!! That's all I really want to do and will sacrifice a lot to do it. :) I just love these people.

MY PLANS
Go back to BYU in January.
Keep being a missionary :)

18 months.

I cannot believe that I have been home over a month!

It all just seems unreal. When you’re about to leave for you mission, the mission seems like a dream. Once you’re out there, you’re sure home life was definitely the dream. But the second you get home, every companion, transfer, area, and hour you just spend doing the best thing you’ve done in your life, now becomes the fairytale dream.

I couldn’t have asked, or even dreamed of a better way or place to spend a short year and a half of my time, than serving our Lord. In the end- I feel like I was the one that benefited the most, so the words service or sacrifice don’t even fit.

I gained far more than I gave. The lives I touched were not because I came to Florida, or because of my decision to serve.

It was because of our Savior. It was because of the spirit that I did all I could to worthily hold as an imperfect representative of

Jesus Christ.

He is reason I was called and chosen to serve.

He is the reason I am who I am now.

He is the reason the people I met lives were changed.

He is who made this all happen.

He is who carried me through the toughest of times.

The time I spent was His. The rest of my time here will forever be His.

Nothing can ever make me doubt that for a second.

Everything we have, and will have, is Because of Him.

I love my Savior. I love Him because he’s given me my family, and the opportunity to be with them forever. I love Him because he gave me the chance to help others have the same blessings I tend to take for granted.

That’s what being like our Savior really means. Sharing and serving those who don’t have what we have. I believe it’s the greatest form of Christ-like love.

That’s why the mission and doing missionary work brings so much happiness. J

I loved it more than anything in the whole entire world, but I know I get to embark on new challenges and adventures now and I can’t wait!!!

I’m EXTREMLY grateful for the change I had to serve a full time mission. I know a lot of people don’t have that opportunity, so I will forever be grateful for the trials I went through, and the things I learned. I was very lucky, and will never take that for granted. J

I want to thank everyone who made it happen! Not only my Heavenly Father and Savior who really made it happen, but my wonderful mom who supported, encouraged, and listened to my silly complains every step of the way. To Ashley, Karly, and Katelyn, for listening to my stories and for always keeping things humerous (especially with hilarious music videos and pictures). For my extended family supporting me physically and spiritually. For my 13 companions teaching me more than I could ever teach them. For the wonderful President and Sister Cusick (and the Summerhays) and their countless hours of never ending service to the missionaries of the Florida Tampa Mission. For the members of the Vanderbilt Beach, Highlands, University Park, New Tampa, and Sebring wards for loving my companions and I and for literally doing countless things for us all the time.

And last but not least, for all the amazing people I met on my mission! For those I was able to get really close to and teach, and for those who I may have only met once. You are why I served J

I could never really thank everyone who made this all happen, but I hope you know that you helped me change my life! I sincerely thank you J

I LOVE YOU ALL! 

My worst fear?

This might sound completely pathetic and selfish, but my worst fear right now is getting into a car crash on the way to the MTC.
Even just writing this I sound completely stupid.
But really. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry and go into a state of depression. So I'm going to make this quick. If I died, that would be ok... then I could just serve a mission in heaven. If I didn't die, and was even a little bit injured my mission would have to be pushed back.
Pushed back.
I do not think my poor heart could handle that. I know that sounds completely selfish, but I just want to serve a mission so badly, and it is literally so close I can taste it (I'm not kidding).

To go along with that I will not and CANNOT let any of these things happen-
Serious Diseases or any sickness really
Food Poisoning
Robbery
Car Problems
Weird things that develop like teeth issues or I dunno... skin issues...

I can't think of anymore.

Really ANYTHING that will keep me off my mission. I need to be extremely careful... I think I might just have to lock myself up in my room for 7 days until I know the coast is clear...

This is seriously the most frightening thing in the world to me right now.

My Farewell

I put this story on my other blog, and if you want to hear anything about my mission you can follow it, or... something. I tried for hours to get it so you could get the posts by email, but I failed. Sorry about that.
Click here to see the story! (boring btw)

I'd like to apologize

Ever since I've gotten my mission call I've been very bitter about when I was called to enter the MTC. I complained to a lot of you about how anxious I was and how mad I was about the whole thing. I didn't understand why I was leaving so late and why I had to wait so much longer than anyone else. To be honest, I still do not know completely. Lately I've been grateful that I've been here for certain things like farewells, blessings, baptisms, Karly's pageant and other things. But I feel really bad about complaining so much. I know that my father in heaven has a purpose for me. Even if I never figure out the exact reason, I know that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to. If I never know the reason, or if it may just be for the simple reason of transfers. It doesn't matter to me, and I'm sorry that I was so negative. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be able to serve a mission at an even younger age than I would have before. That is such a blessing in my life. Thank you all for putting up with me. Now that it is finally almost here I feel very awful about being so pessimistic. I am so grateful for my plan that Heavenly Father and given me and that I am able to have the gospel in my life. I'm grateful that I can repent and start over, and try my best to be better. I'm grateful I have the ability to serve a mission. I can't imagine doing anything else in my life right now. :) thank you for all your support :) 

Also- here is the link to what really helped me understand and realize that right now, my life is amazing and going exactly the way I want it. I was wrong to even complain about something so silly, when others are going through the unimaginable. 

Having trust in Him.

I love playing the piano. I don't know if you knew that, but really that's because I have no idea who reads this... but I can play most of the hymns (known hymns.. not like I'm a Pilgram I'm a Stranger) and if I haven't played it before,  I usually don't have a hard time playing it (Exception- True to the Faith)
I have been playing the piano for about 10 years. I know, that sounds like a long time. You would think I would be this really good piano player. Well, I'm not. It's not my talent or skill even a little bit. I do not come from an extremely musically talented family... I have had to work like a crazy person (I usually sit and play the piano for about 30min-1 hour a day) just to be able to play the hymns. The thing I hate about it, I can only sight read. I have no musical ability whatsoever; so sitting and making up a song will never happen. I can't even hear it or pick something out... I can only read the music. Which has been a very good thing for me, and I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father has given me the ability to do it.
Ok. Enough on that.
I was thinking about it the other day... I am probably going to lose a lot of my piano playing ability on my mission. We won't have a piano (obviously) and I will probably never have to opportunity to go to a church on my p-day to practice for a while. Besides that, how much do you think my companion would like that?
So it was kind of bumming me out. But then I remembered a conversation with a costumer at Costco that I had a while back. She was telling me about how her granddaughter wanted to serve a mission, but was an amazing gymnast. She was afraid that she would lose everything if she went on a mission for a year and a half. The grandma then told me that she explained to her that if she had faith, did what Heavenly Father wanted her to do, and trusted in him, that it would all work out for the best. The best meaning that she could come back and pick up where she left off. Or come back and be even better than she was before. Or maybe come back and not be able to do it anymore, but find a different path to go on.
When I remembered that I was soooooo happy. That little dumb fear of losing my piano playing abilities was completely gone. I know that what I am doing is exactly what my Heavenly Father wants me to be doing. And that's all that matters. If we follow him and do what he asks, everything else will work out the way that it is supposed to. :)

Mission Prep

I absolutely ADORE mission prep. Like, I would seriously go to it if it was every day. No. Joke. But sadly, it is only once a week. I look forward to it every single time though. Even though I only have it once more before I leave.... reality check..... wait.... no.... it still hasn't hit me. Sorry.

This month they had us go and actually be with a companion and teach a family from a different ward! Crazy huh!? The weird thing was... I wasn't even scared at all. Everyone else was freaking out and so nervous. I was just excited because it was going to feel a little closer to actual missionary work! Ashley and I got assigned to the same "mission" (aka- the Harvest Hills 3rd ward) and family.
I felt the need to pray together before we went in. I just wanted to have a good learning experience and bring the spirit into their home.
Oh, and by the way, the family agreed to do this before hand. They knew we were coming and all were very active. The sprit was already strong when we walked into their house. They had 6 beautiful children and were such a cute happy couple. We introduced ourselves and got to know them a little bit. They even had this adorable little 1 week old baby :) we taught them about the atonement and about forever families. Even though I'm sure they knew all of the things that we taught them we tried to go deeper and just bring the sprit. It also felt very natural to me. I felt like I could share my feelings and that the words were just coming out of my mouth. It is one of the stronger times that I have felt the sprit speak through me. We ended with a prayer and all the kids were smiling. Ash and I were beaming. The father thanked us for bringing the sprit into their home and we I think we both left on cloud nine :)
Overall, it was a wonderful experience. It made me even more excited to go out and teach those who don't know these truths that we have and help them understand and give them hope and comfort for the future :)

Mission Blog!

So maybe I am a little anxious for my mission. I don't want to make this another post about how I'm so excited and that it's sooooo long away (59 days)... because there are a lot of those lately.

But I had to tell you all something...

I have already made the blog for my mission! My mom will post my weekly emails to the blog and then share them on her Facebook. I. Am. So. Excited!!! (whoops... I talked about how I am so excited again)

There is nothing on it yet. Ok. That was obvious. But it's very very simple. But I love it!

If you want to have a look... here ya go! :)

NO. It really hasn't been that long.

I really do feel like I haven't blogged in FOREVER! But guys, looking back, it's really only been... a week and a half... crap. My days are going by slow again. Whhhhhyyy!? 66 days. But it still feels like an eternity. I feel really awful complaining about it, because some people do not even get to go on missions... I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity. And I never want to be ungrateful or take it for granted (wait... that word. Weird...) because I feel so privileged to be able to go serve the Lord. I keep saying the same thing over and over again. My life is in repeat mode right now. Working so much is getting to me. People are still surprised about when I am going. I know someone who got their call this past week and are leaving March 13th. It's rough. But I KNOW THERE IS A REASON (if I keep saying it maybe it will finally stick).
Here are some fun pictures to look at since this was a pretty boring post.

Coming home from the Provo temple after we went through with Riley to get his own endowments. :) 

What we do on Saturday mornings when we are bored. 

Super crooked. I was walking...

The other fun things we do on Saturday morning....

They were actually pretty chill for being old grandmas being pulled around.

The poem we wrote in sacrament meeting... lovely. At least it gets to the point of church on the last line right?  

The Spirit is real!

I promise this will be the last post for a while. But I was just looking back at some posts and I thought that it was pretty awesome that I sort of knew what was coming. I mean- with the whole mission thing.

Here I was stressed about a bunch of things. But halfway down I say that I think I'm going to miss my family more and that I feel like something really big is going to happen this year.

This is where I figure out and put the pieces together of what the BIG thing is.

At the beginning of last summer I decided that for sure I was going to go on a mission. Great timing if you ask me ;)

I got my Primary Calling. I didn't know how much it would help me with preparing for my future, not so far away mission. And that I would get to keep it a lot longer than anyone thought :)

This one is long, but it has the story of the day they made the call and my feelings :)

And here I get my call to Tampa Florida!!! OK... now I'm getting off topic...

So yep :) pretty cool stuff.

Unagi

*WARNING- boring, blabbing alert...

I am so writing about this again. I am in the state of Unagi again.

My life is just complete bliss right now.
I can't tell you how happy I am every day. I love my life and everything about it!
I love my family.
I love my calling.
I love my friends.
I love my job...............
I love the gospel.
I love church.
I love... everything really!

My mission is only 87 days away and in a weird way, it actually feels like it's getting close!
My mom is now sort of off her crazy work schedule and we can start preparing a little more.
Sister Arnold gave a fabulous testimony today in church about priorities that I really needed. Now that I am "officially off break" I need to start doing productive things with my day; especially because I am leaving for a mission soon, and I don't have a ton to do (at least that's what it feels like) because I am not going to school. I still have work to occupy a little bit of my time, but I still have a lot more to do to prepare. But so far- everything is going smoothly.
They say you can feel Satan working overtime on you the second you have your mission call. I think he has been slamming me since I made the actual firm choice that I was going to serve a mission. But lately, it's been harder than ever. And like I have kind of mentioned, it's not even really with "bad sins" but more like time wasters and selfish acts. But I have the determination and faith that if I am preparing how I should, and doing what I should, my Heavenly Father will help me to overcome the power of Satan. The temple has been a great strength for me. I feel at home, and at peace. I can talk to my Heavenly Father on a deeper, more personal level, and feel his endless love for me. Even just surrounding myself with people that are kind of on the same boat has helped. Today we had a temple prep class after church for the people who are soon to be leaving on their missions or turning in their papers. Being around these young men strengthens me and makes me even more excited to be on my mission and be able to interact with so many wonderful people. I can't even express to you how happy and anxious all of this makes me feel! :)

I know... another picture update...

My cousin Riley got his mission to Portugal!!!

Went to Ash's game at Maple Mountain and then hung out with our favorite cousins at McDonald's till 11:00. This was also the coldest we have ever been in our whole entire life. 

I took this amazing picture of my hilarious Primary class. I'm going to send it to Austin ;) 

Went to Zoo lights with these crazy people. 

Made a paper chain for my mission. On this day there were 101 days. Today there are 100. :) 

Cutest money ever at the zoo. He was staring at me and putting his hand up on the glass. 

More zoo lights. Apparently I look like a man.  

Eating cold stone after zoo lights :) 

So glad I'm speaking English!

Tonight I was talking to this girl that just got back from her mission in October. I had never met her but I heard her talking about her mission and I just kind of gravitate to those kinds of people I guess... she went to Panama and spoke Spanish (obviously). But she was telling me that I was so lucky to be speaking English because when you learn Spanish she said that they just teach you how to say your testimony in the most simple way. She said because I was speaking English I could REALLY share my testimony in almost a more complex way. I have to say that I feel better about that! That was the whole reason that I wanted to speak English. Whew. The end.

Spanish???

So I went to the temple for the second time with my cousin today. I had an amazing time and was able to learn a lot because it wasn't as nerve racking and I could actually pay attention. I still have SO much more to learn in the temple though! It's such an amazing place! I'm so glad that I get to go a lot before my mission. My goal is to go at least once a week, but more if I can! 

I've been having thoughts and impressions lately that I need to study/learn Spanish before I leave. At first I just put it off and thought that I was being crazy. But today in the temple, I just knew that I needed to. And from what we learn from President Monson is that we should NEVER IGNORE IMPRESSIONS/THE SPIRIT. I have no idea if I will even use it on my mission. I have just heard of so may missionaries getting called to Florida (Tampa even) Spanish speaking. I just want to be prepared. I don't want to miss an opportunity to teach and share my testimony of the gospel just because I don't know the language. Plus- I have heard that there are A LOT of people who speak Spanish who live in Florida. 

I know you probably think I'm crazy and that I'm not going to learn the language before April. But I trust in my Heavenly Father that if he asks/prompts/inspires me to do something, that with him I can accomplish it. No matter what. I have full faith that I will learn at least what I need to know, if I do all that I can, have faith, and trust and rely completely on our Heavenly Father. 

He knows exactly what we need. I know that he will lead and guide me to people that need to hear the gospel at this time. I know I say this at the end of every post like this- BUT I SERIOUSLY CANNOT EVEN WAIT!!!

Oh and I just wanted to thank my Sister Ashley and my friends Hailee, Jackie, and Kailey for helping me through these past couple of hard days when my mom hasn't really been avaliable. I couldn't do it without you guys! I love you!

My Temple experience.

I've been sitting here trying to think of one word that would sum it all up... the only thing I can think of is indescribable (I know right. So unique). 

I kept telling people I was going to go through the temple soon and they would just say- "Oh it's weird. So don't get freaked out", or something to that extent. To tell the honest truth- I was not even a little bit weirded out. I have NO clue what they were talking about when they said weird. I had the most spiritual experience of my life and couldn't even control my emotions the whole time. Most of my extended family was there, and my mom was my escort. That made the whole overall experience even more special for countless reasons. I am so glad I have so many family members that are worthy to enter the temple, and that live so close so that I could share this special experience with them.

My mom and I began a fast the night before I was going to go through. I think that was one of the greatest strengths for me. I fasted that I would be able to listen to the spirit and that I would get the confirmation that what I was doing was all true, and that I would not be "weirded out." I think that was my biggest help. 

I feel so blessed and privileged to have had the opportunity to be invited into our Lord and Saviors house. I am grateful for my wonderful parents who raised me to always keep my eyes on the temple as my eternal goal. I am excited that I have made it to this point in my life and that I was prepared for this time in my life not only through my parents, but my wonderful sisters, primary teachers, sunday school teachers, young women leaders, friends, family, the scriptures, and most importantly my brother, best friend, and Redeemer Jesus Christ. 

I know without a doubt that through the temple, is the only way that we are able to return and live with our Father in Heaven in the Celestial kingdom with our families again. What goes on inside is powerful, binding, and scared. I know that we are the closest to our Heavenly Father and our loved ones in heaven when we are in the temple. I know this through my own personal, sacred experiences. I am so glad that we have so many beautiful temples surrounding us. I hope that those of you who are not yet eligible for a temple recommend will set your sights on the temple and make it your goal in life right now, I cannot even explain the blessings you will receive through doing this. 

I hope that each of us can find the time to go to the temple as often as we can, there we can serve others and learn of His will and purpose for us. 

Tampa Florida!

I have received my mission call to Tampa Florida, English Speaking (thank goodness), and I'm leaving April 3rd!!!!!!!!!!
You have no idea how long I have waited for this day! I went to the temple this morning, just so I could feel close to my Savior and do some service. It was fun because I was the only one there besides this other woman. She had some family names and she let me do some! I was honored! I got dunked (that so says DUNKED, not DRUNKED...) 10 times... now I know why they only do 5! 10 is quite a lot!!! I felt the spirit so strongly and couldn't help but cry on my way there and back. My Heavenly Father loves me so much and I could just feel my heart overflowing with that peace and love. I always listen to church music/talks/podcasts/books in the car, so I listened to the Called to Serve CD by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on my way to and from the temple. That really got me. Mainly because I knew I was going to get my call today.

Here's the funny part. Karly came home from school to go to the dentist. So when I got home from the temple she was the only one home. I had her play me a song on the piano and sing. While she was I was sitting on our chair in the front room that is right by the window. I get a text from my best friends mom (Cindy Gocken) that says- "The mail is here!" I immediately whip my head around to see the mail man pulling up to our house! I screamed "THE MAILMAN IS HERE!" We both jump, up and literally start jumping up and down! We watched him put what looked like a big white envelope in! We were SO excited! We screamed for a couple seconds and she was like- "Let's go get it!" I told her I didn't want to because I was scared it wouldn't be there. I told her to go and get it. Right as the mailman drove off she ran out there. She grabbed it all and then looked up and me with the biggest grin ever! I yelled- "Is it there!????!!!!" She screams- "YES!" Then for about a minute straight we jumped up and down screaming! I started texting everybody and freaking out. It was the best moment ever. I'm so glad she got to share it with me!
I waited to open it till 6:30 when Karly would get home. She didn't end up getting home till about 6:50. The wait was hard- but I had prayed that I would be calm and patient, and boy was I! Especially compared to my family! I only invited my Grandmas and Danny. I have too much family to invite them all or to just pick some. They can all come to the farewell :)
I didn't even cry when I opened it though! That was miracle! I just couldn't stop smiling! It was the greatest feeling EVER!

If you don't read anything in this post you have to read this-

We had been playing pranks on each other all day. Ashley came up while I was doing my hair and said that Nick had opened my mission call. I believed her and was beyond ticked. I just said- "Well, whatever!" Then my mom had a white envelope from the insurance company and I came downstairs and Daxton hid it under the table I grabbed it and it was opened! Again- I was ticked! I just told them they were stupid (I was so mad) and took it in the other room. Then I looked at it. OH man. SO NOT FUNNY GUYS ;)! Then they were planning on playing a joke on Karly with these glasses they had filed for there talent show. But it was 6:00 which was when we were planning on opening it. Everyone was there- except Katelyn (and Karly of course) so we decided that we would call her friend that she was with and tell her (faking) that I was going.... wait for it....... FLORIDA! This is not even a joke. That was the joking place that we made up. Katelyn totally believed it and was pretty mad that we had opened it without her. She rushed home and we told her it was a joke. It was just hilarious when I opened it and it really was FLORIDA!
After words we went to Texas Roadhouse with my grandma, family, and cousin. It was so much fun!

I just know without a doubt that this is where I am supposed to go. I know that there are people that need to hear the gospel in Tampa and I couldn't be more excited to share this great knowledge of the truth with them! I am going to be an instrument in the Lord's hand and I feel so blessed and honored to even have this great privilege. I love this gospel more than anything and I can't wait for it to be my whole life for a year and half! This church is TRUE! I know that! I could never ever deny it!
Thanks to all my family and friends for all the support that you have given me! I love you all!

Ohhhh... and I finished the Book of Mormon for the 4th time tonight! So cool! I didn't even plan it to be on the same day! Last night I realized that I could actually finish it all today and I was stoked! I know that's it's true! I have asked him every time I finish it and I get the same answer every time that it is true! :)