Mission Prep

I absolutely ADORE mission prep. Like, I would seriously go to it if it was every day. No. Joke. But sadly, it is only once a week. I look forward to it every single time though. Even though I only have it once more before I leave.... reality check..... wait.... no.... it still hasn't hit me. Sorry.

This month they had us go and actually be with a companion and teach a family from a different ward! Crazy huh!? The weird thing was... I wasn't even scared at all. Everyone else was freaking out and so nervous. I was just excited because it was going to feel a little closer to actual missionary work! Ashley and I got assigned to the same "mission" (aka- the Harvest Hills 3rd ward) and family.
I felt the need to pray together before we went in. I just wanted to have a good learning experience and bring the spirit into their home.
Oh, and by the way, the family agreed to do this before hand. They knew we were coming and all were very active. The sprit was already strong when we walked into their house. They had 6 beautiful children and were such a cute happy couple. We introduced ourselves and got to know them a little bit. They even had this adorable little 1 week old baby :) we taught them about the atonement and about forever families. Even though I'm sure they knew all of the things that we taught them we tried to go deeper and just bring the sprit. It also felt very natural to me. I felt like I could share my feelings and that the words were just coming out of my mouth. It is one of the stronger times that I have felt the sprit speak through me. We ended with a prayer and all the kids were smiling. Ash and I were beaming. The father thanked us for bringing the sprit into their home and we I think we both left on cloud nine :)
Overall, it was a wonderful experience. It made me even more excited to go out and teach those who don't know these truths that we have and help them understand and give them hope and comfort for the future :)

Something BIG

So back in August we had our annual back to school blessings. My cousin Dustin came over for dinner and we had him give us our blessings. I love the amazing spirit that just fills the room when blessings are being given. I feel it is especially strong when my family receives blessings because we can all feel, every single time not only our Heavenly Father and Brother Jesus Christ in the room, but also our own father. This might sound a little weird to some people, but we can feel our own dad speaking to us through the blessing. We have had many times where the priesthood holder acting in God’s name actually says things that my dad wants us to know. The experience is always indescribable. In my blessing I was told that something very big would change in my life this year. I thought… oh crap… I’m gonna get married. Mainly because that was the only thing going through my mind at that time. It scared me a little.

I didn’t realize until a couple days ago that it was not talking about marriage... it was talking about my mission! I just know that Heavenly Father knows us, what we need, and knows what is in our future. This just shows that blessings are straight from our Father in Heaven and that inspiration is real, and I know that will all of my heart.

The second thing I wanted to talk about was my scripture reading. I just love the scriptures. Sometimes I can’t stop reading them! I know that sounds really cheesy, but sometimes I cannot stop reading them! I got so into the scriptures, Preach my Gospel, and Jesus the Christ that I was up till 2:00am the other night. But I have been noticing that I keep reading about the gift of tongues. That scares me! I said that I didn’t want to speak another language (not that this means that I'll speak another language). I just think I could do a lot better if I were to just say things that I want to in my own language… so people could actually understand me… although I do have a first testimony that Heavenly Father will send me where I need to go. That is for sure. Even if I have to speak Chinese… I’m go where I’m mean to go and where I can find the people that need to hear the gospel. 

Spirit in the Vending Machine Room

On Monday night I was just hanging at Christina's dorm. She was at FHE and I was using her wi-fi because mind wasn't working. I get a text from her saying that someone in her ward needs a ride to the hospital, she asked if I could drive him. Of course- I said yes. 

He was in a lot of pain. Most likely appendicitis. He was grabbing his right side, and was white as a ghost. We waited in the ER for 3 hours. It's so crazy and makes me so sad that someone would have to wait that long to see a doctor when his appendix could potentially burst. I just tried to make him as comfortable as possible. I didn't even really know him, but I wanted to help. 

After about an hour I had the thought that he needed a blessing. We asked him if he'd like us to call the bishop or his home teachers to come over. He told us that he would like that. Christina called the bishop and he made arrangements. One of his home teachers and 2 friends came to the ER to give him a blessing. 

It was pretty funny when the 3 boys arrived. They came in the doors of the ER dressed in their suits and ties. The double doors opened and they seriously looked like these missionary stripping warriors or something. It was so fun to see. They were ready and willing to serve and they would do whatever it took because they loved the Lord. Just like the stripping warriors and missionaries do. 

We didn't know where to go. It was too cold outside and too loud inside. We asked them if they had a room we could give him a blessing in. The nurse said that most people just use the vending machine room. We were very grateful to have somewhere nice and quiet to give him a blessing. The 3 boys were so amused that I could just ask the nurse where we could give him a priesthood blessing and she knew what that was. They are from out of state so it was pretty abnormal. 

I'm just so grateful to live in Utah. Yeah, it may be a bubble. But there is nothing wrong with a bubble! I love it here and am so glad that we have priesthood holders when needed and that they are so willing to serve. 

The spirit was so strong in that little vending machine room. It didn't even have a door. We grabbed a bench for him to sit on and all went in there. The boys gave an amazing simple blessing. The spirit filled the room and I could tell Heavenly Father was listening and cared so much about Trevor (the boy with appendicitis). He ended up getting in about an hour and a half later. We called him mom and explained everything. The bishop even came and made sure everything was ok. We stayed there and made sure everything was ok. We ended up leaving about 1:00am and we had one of the boys stay here with him. He had surgery at 5:00am today and it went well. We have been coming in shifts so that he always has someone with him. It has been such a cool experience and I'm so glad I was able to be a part of it! 

This just shows that the spirit can be anywhere and that the power of the priesthood is real and powerful. 

Tuesday.

Tuesday. 

Whew. 

I THINK I can wait till then. But then I still have at least 3 weeks to wait for my call. Probably longer than that. 

I can't explain how excited I am to go. I have been studying Preach my Gospel, and I just love it! I can't get enough. It just makes me love the gospel and this work so much more than I already did. It makes me realize just how simple the gospel is, but how extremely important it is to do those small and simple things. It may seem like repetition, but it invites the spirit. And by inviting and letting the spirit teach us we will learn new things about our Savior, Heavenly Father, and the gospel that we didn't know before, or maybe that we had forgotten. Our testimonies are either growing or dying. They do not stay the same. We need to be looking for way and praying for ways and opportunities to increase our own personal testimonies. Prayer, Scripture Study, and attending church are just a few of the simple things we can do to help our testimonies grow. I can't wait to share the sweet special gift of the gospel to my brothers and sisters, wherever they may be, and bring them back to the light through the spirit and the my Savior, and Father in Heaven. :) 

This has to be a dream...

I had one of the happiest days of my life yesterday. I always think something exciting will be announced in conference like everyone gets free ice cream or something (ya no... I don't really know what would be exciting, but I always hope there is something like that). Or maybe something scary like we have to start polygamy again. All I know about those things is that whatever President Monson tells us to do, I will do it without question and without hesitation.
The announcement that the age of going on a mission has been lowered literally changed my life in a blink of an eye.
As President Monson was talking about the boys and changed the age I immediately hoped he would change the girls as well. I waited in anticipation... I thought he would just change it to 20 because he had only put the boys down one year. When I heard him say 19 I thought I was in a dream. I didn't know whether to cry or scream in excitement. In reality- I was so incredibly happy and in shock that I didn't know what to do. I felt like my insides were going to burst. I couldn't even cry because of it. But believe me- that came later. I can't say that I can think of a happier I have felt in my life. Or at least it's in the top 5 times when I have felt the most happiness in my life.
I was with my roommates at the time he announced it, and I have to admit- I don't remember a lot of the rest of the first session. My excitement was really getting to me. I went to work a little bit before the first session was over in complete happiness. I had a 10 hour and 45 minute shift ahead of me... I didn't care a bit. The only reason I didn't want to go was because I wanted to call and cry to my mom. I waited in anticipation all day just to be able to talk to my mom. All the cashiers would talk to me about it. Even the customers would. People were just thrilled about the news! I even got quite a few texts and facebook messages of people telling me that I was the first person they thought of when they heard the announcement. I can't tell you how much that means to me!
Finally I got off, but my family went to bed before I got home so I couldn't talk to them about it.
Instead I got to talk to Austin about it and then Zach. But on my car ride home I couldn't help but pour out my heart in gratitude and happiness to my Father in Heaven. I couldn't even control myself. I can't even explain the moment in words. I felt so close to my Father in Heaven and knew that He was there listening to every single word I was saying. This was an answer to my prayers that I did not expect. It just goes to show that we have no idea what is in store for us and Heavenly Father has a plan for us and it will not always follow what we want. I'm just lucky this time it was exactly what I wanted, just not at all what I expected.
I had been praying to find myself and know what I needed to be doing in my life because what I was doing just wasn't working. Sure I was going to school, working, making friends, reading my scriptures, going to church, all of that. It just felt like something was missing. I kept saying that to my family and friends. I just thought that I was missing a boyfriend/husband or something. Mainly because that is what I wanted so badly. But I was already planning on going on a mission. This just means I get to go earlier and it will be a little easier to have a plan for my life. I am going to drop everything and go. I will finish this semester at school and go when and where I get called. I cannot even wait. And I haven't even turned in my papers yet! This is going to be an agonizing next couple of months just waiting. But I know I can do it! At least I will have school occupying my thoughts to help!
I told my mom after the first session of Sunday conference. I had already texted her and my whole family basically knew me, and knew that I would be going. But I hadn't actually told her. Plus, I wanted to make sure that it was the right thing, and that I wasn't just too excited about it to not listen to the spirit. I fasted that morning. After conference was done I just knew I was supposed to go. I looked at her and said, "Mom, I'm going. I'm going on a mission." Then I just started balling. I told her my testimony and said that I knew President Monson was an instrument in God's hand because I had been praying for it. She hugged me and we cried together. It was definitely a moment I will cherish and never forget.

I just know without a single doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father knows our needs, wants, and he knows what is best for our church. I know President Monson is called of God and receives revelation through him. This is going to be a huge change in our church, but I know it will be for the better. And I can't wait to start serving people in need of the gospel for a year and a half of my life! I can't wait to have another experience like I did with Jackie. I can already see the impact that her having the gospel in her life has done. 2 of her friends are getting baptized now because of her. Because of course, this isn't for me, it's for the wonderful people that are ready to hear the gospel and I can't wait to be an instrument in my Heavenly Father's hand to find and teach them! :)

Unagi

There is this awesome episode of friends where Ross teaches Rachel and Phoebe about Unagi which is some kind of fighting thing. But I think the word goes perfectly with the state that I'm in in my life right now. It doesn't have to do with fighting or anything, but I just feel like Ungai should be the word for it.  Which is... I guess peaceful and happy, maybe content. 

Unagi

It's a great place to be in. I sort of feel like a super hero, or like I'm stuck in the amazingly happy ending  of a movie. It's wonderful. I encourage everyone to get into this stage and stay in it as long as you can. Because it so exists. The only problem... I don't know exactly how I got to unagi... ok maybe I do. 

Prayer. 

That is literally how I got here. I would pray fervently to my Heavenly Father for the strength to carry through and to just be happy with the way my life was going, even if it wasn't going exactly how I planned. Well, it worked. Just like it always does.

Ungai. 

Ahhhh. I just feel like I always have a fresh mint in my body (odd way to put it... but that is how I feel). 

I. Feel. Awesome. 

I. Love. My. Life. :) 

Ungai. 

SOPHOMORE YEAR HERE I COME!

I seriously cannot believe that it has been a year since I first started college. That cannot be real. Seriously. It just doesn't feel like that. (I just wrote don't instead of doesn't, I need to stop listening to country.
This is my first bit of free time in a long time. I don't know what to do with myself.
I will be working a lot less though because I am mentally and physically exhausted. I haven't eaten much lately, but I also haven't been able to run because of lack of time. Ya, I could wake up at 5:00 to do it, but then that would be one more thing, lack of sleep. I can't combine all of those together. I just need my sleep.
So I'm here. With new roommates, a new place, new ward, new classes, new goals, new plans, new attitude, and a new job! Whoooo! I'm now going to be a cashier at the Provo Macey's instead of working in the Deli at the Lehi one. I can't tell you how excited I am. Seriously. The hours will work better, and I'll actually have a social life at work.
I guess having a complete mental break down (believe it or not, I haven't had one of those in a while) in front of your mom CAN actually motivate you. Thank goodness.
I had been feeling like nothing was going the way I expected it. Reality check- NOTHING really ever goes the way you plan it. But I have just learned to make the best of it. My attitude is making a huge difference.
I'm crazy busy all the time with work, and getting back on track with school, but I'm actually super excited about this year. Mainly because I know a little better how I'm actually going to do this.
The rundown-
I have a GPA of 1.99. That's right folks, .01 away from NOT being on academic warning and not having to petition to get my Financial Aid back up.
To stay in BYU you have to maintain a 2.0 overall GPA. I was so close. But- I did get put on academic warning and I have one semester to get it back to good standing before I get put on probation.
Probation is NOT an option for me.
So to fix it I went to a counselor talked for a long time about everything. I made goals to go to these free classes they have to help you succeed, talking to a peer counselor once a week, forming study groups, and going to get tested for a learning disability. He even helped me with my schedule. That helped more than I can even explain.
All Tuesday I spent doing those things. I met with a million people and walked to a million places. I changed my schedule, filled out papers, talked a lot, and made appointments. On top of that, I also had class and the Brigham temple open house to go to with my family. Full- but VERY productive day. I haven't been that proud of myself in a long time. I felt like I could conquer the world.
A lot of the people that I actually talked to complimented me on my desire and determination. I felt like I didn't have a lot of that last semester. Hopefully this helps...
So with my financial aid... it's a good thing my mom has some money saved up. Even from working all summer I didn't have enough for tuition. So, to my dismay, I used some of that precious money to pay for tuition. That is what it's meant for. But I just wanted to do it on my own. I might actually be able to do that as well... I talked to a financial advisor and I MIGHT be able to petition for my financial aid! Yes! I'm really hoping this works!
I can't even explain how much I have seen my Heavenly Father in my life right now and how blessed I feel. I was, and still am struggling, and will continue to; but I know that with him I can do anything that I set my mind to. He cares so much about us, and wants us to succeed and do well. We just have to turn to him and ask for help. The key is on our side of the veil.

Church emails are inspired!

Real quick- another story about prayer! 
Lately I have been feeling like my prayers aren't sincere enough. I feel like it's the same thing over and over again. But I just didn't know what else to pray for or about. So one night, I prayer to my Heavenly Father to help me make my prayers more sincere.
The answer came the next day. 
I get emails from the church every day with some kind of quote of scripture. 
The day after I had said that prayer I got the email that said this- 

"In reality, there aren’t many things in a day that are totally without significance. Even the mundane and repetitious can be tiny but significant building blocks that in time establish the discipline and character and order needed to realize our plans and dreams. Therefore, as you ask in prayer for your daily bread, consider thoughtfully your needs—both what you may lack and what you must protect against. As you retire to bed, think about the successes and failures of the day and what will make the next day a little better. And thank your Heavenly Father for the manna He has placed along your path that sustained you through the day."

Enough said I think ;) 

Lifesaver.

Prayer can be a literal lifesaver! I can't even explain to you how much I truly believed that- and believe it even more now. 

Our dog Sandee loves to get on the roof. My window doesn't have a screen and my nightstand is right next to it, so she can get out pretty easily if the window is open. 

Well on Thursday it was a super hot day. I'm saying like BLAZING hot! Sandee wanted to go out on the roof. I didn't want to let all the cool air out (lesson learned- I need to stop being so selfish), so I decided that I would just let her out there and then close the window, thinking- oh, I'll just let her back in in a little while. 

But guess what? Of course I forgot about her.

I then went shopping with my sister and some friends. We were gone for about 4 hours. About 10min after we got home a lady comes to the door really concerned telling us that we had a dog on our roof. We told her, oh, she does that all the time. She just likes it up there. Then, I started to freak out! I had left her out there for more than 4 hours in the middle of the day on a super hot day! We ran upstairs and called her name. She wasn't coming. We started to freak out. I was thinking, crap, she jumped off and killed herself (really this is not logical, Sandee is way to smart for that). After about 3min of calling her we see her come around the side of the house and she is walking so slowly and with a limp. It was one of the most heartbreaking things that I have ever seen. I felt like a complete jerk and idoit (well, I should have- and still do). 

I'm just grateful for that women. I know that she was guided by the spirit to come and tell us that, and I'm so glad that she listened. 

Finally she got back in and she felt like she'd been cooked to death. We quickly got her some water that she gulped down as fast as she could. Then, she threw up half of it a minute later. Because she was so hot we put her near a vent on her favorite pillow in my mom's room to rest. I felt so bad. I was just laying in there petting her and I prayed so hard to my Heavenly Father to just let her be able to cool down and rest. The second I opened my eyes she was sound asleep. 

For the next few days we thought she was going to die. I was literally preparing myself mentally. Besides that, I felt like an awful person. Every time I would look at her a sick feeling would enter the pit of my stomach.

She walked like she was 200 years old and wouldn't do anything. She walked with a limp in her back leg and the pads of her feet were super burned she could barely walk anywhere. She wouldn't bark, eat, drink, or do anything. It was really sad because normally she is crazy and active. 

My mom almost took her to the vet on Friday morning because she thought she was done for. But then she looked it up online and started giving her half water half gatorade through a syringe every 30min. That actually seemed to help. She got better and better. And by Sunday afternoon she was pretty much back to her regular self! 

Now you are probably thinking- what the heck does this have to do with prayer. Well- for one- the little story about me praying for her in there. Second- all my family had been praying for her and she got better! It was kind of a miracle. Third- well, this doesn't really have to do with prayer. But Heavenly Father was sure looking out for us when she sent that lady to come and tell us about Sandee. We are 99% sure she would have died up there. Or at least died from the effects once we found her. 

As I'm writing this, a quote comes to mind that I just love. 


"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs."


That is just the first part of it, and I know it has to do with serve. But i think that this applies here!

..and I shall conquer death..

The title of this post really has so much meaning and is very fitting for what my weekend was like.

As you know my aunt and uncle passed away last week. It was hard on all of us, but especially their family. We ended up going to the funeral in Arizona.

We took off Wednesday night after the girls had young women's at around 10:00pm (I know, that's way past young women's, you know us). My mom was going back and forth trying to decided if she was going to go or not. My cousin was going through the temple on Friday morning; my mom is close to him and was invited, she really wanted to go. She finally decided that she was just going to stay. So me, along with my sisters headed for Arizona. We were in American Fork and got a call from my mom, she was crying and said to come back, and that she was coming. We headed back and got her stuff in the car and left! I have to say, I was pretty grateful, I wasn't too excited about driving for 6 hours straight in the middle of the night. Now that she was coming, we had 3 drivers, which was so much better! Besides that, it wouldn't have been the same without my mom there.

We got in Arizona at about 11am. We couldn't check into our hotel, so we went shopping because my mom had forgotten her swimming suit.

Finally we checked into our hotel, swam a little, then headed to the viewing.

The actual viewing started at 6 but since we were family we came an hour earlier so we could actually see the bodies because they didn't have an open casket for friends.

It was a very moving experience. My mom tells us at every funeral (I don't think that she knows she tells us this every time, but, she does) to look and see how much of a difference the body is without the spirit. It's just not the person. The spirit is what brings our body to life and gives us our "look." It is very true. My aunt didn't look like herself even a little bit. You could tell there was a lot of make-up on her, probably because it had been longer than a week since the accident, and because of the actual accident. My uncle, we actually couldn't even see him. They had a white blanket covering his face and things over his hands. That was the hardest for my family I think. You couldn't help imagining what was, or wasn't underneath. It was probably one of the saddest funerals I have ever been too. All of our family was in the room, just crying. Everyone was hugging and just balling. It was rough. I can't even imagine losing both of my parents or grandparents at the same time. Probably the biggest thing that got me was all of their grandchildren. You could just tell how much they adored their grandparents, and how much their grandparents adored them. A good portion of all the pictures they had up were Karen and Floyd with their grandchildren. We would watch the kids go up and look at their grandparents and just run crying to their parents, burring their heads. It broke my heart. There is nothing that you can say to make that better.

Some people would be mad or turn away from our Father in Heaven. Not us. If anything, it makes us stronger and our faith increases. Of course it's hard to see the big picture of why this would happen to such an amazing family, but we know that trials make us stronger and that everything has reason and purpose. We know that this was their time, and that they were supposed to go together. Sometimes, that knowledge makes to a little easier to get through the day.

As we were driving back to the hotel from the viewing, the song "I know that my Redeemer Lives" came on. As I sat listening to the song I've heard a hundred times a new feeling came over me. The words "and I shall conquer death" stood out to me more than ever. I SHALL conquer death. An immediate feeling of peace and comfort came over me. Not only had Karen and and Floyd conquered death, but my Aunt Laura, Uncle Arlin, Grandpa Calder, Grandpa Cliff, and my Dad have all conquered death. Conquer. It is only through our Redeemer and Brother Jesus Christ that we are able to conquer death and return to live with those who we love more than life itself. I can't even express how much that means to me.

We then had the funeral the next day. I love funerals. Of course not because I like it when people pass away, but I love learning about the lives of the sweet people who are now passed on. No one says anything bad, no one is mad at them, it's all just great things that the people have accomplished and all about the great people they were here, and are now in heaven. I learned so much about Floyd and Karen, it made me wish that I had gotten to know them better, but I know there is time for that later. :) As someone said in the funeral, they were welcomed with open arms and gigantic hugs in heaven and we sure can't wait to see them again :)

We actually drove by the site they were killed at on our way home. I'm not going to lie, I was a little scared of what I was going to see. We pulled over by the side of the road and just sat in silence. I could feel the spirit so strongly. This is where my aunt and uncle had left their bodies and passed on to the other side. We offered a prayer to our Father in Heaven thanking him for everything that he gives us and for the great lives that Karen and Floyd had lived and for the time we got to spend with them. We then continued to pray to protect us on our way home and to be with the Well's family at this trying time.

I am so grateful for prayer and the powerful influence it has on us.

We even had the opportunity to stop and do baptisms at the Mesa temple. It was really fun because all the workers were so nice and you can just feel the spirits of those you are being baptized and confirmed for. I'm grateful that I can help and serve those who cannot be with their families without help from us.

A little more weird stuff about the trip. It took us 11 hours to get to Arizona. 11 long miserable hours. We took our focus to save gas money. Holy cow. Squishy. All 5 of us. Good thing it was in the night or I think we would have killed each other because of the heat and being awake the whole time. We had some good laughs and I think all of us have a couple of bruises, but it was well worth it! We loved the trip!