Patience... Patience... PATIENCE!!!

OK. I cannot take it anymore! I just want to have my call! Ya.... sure... my papers aren't even in yet, but it's hard being patient for my doctors appointment (Wednesday) my dentist appointment (Wednesday) and meeting with my Stake President (still to be determined). My bishop told me to get my papers in as soon as I can. Just so I can try and beat the huge wave. I got everything filled out the night I met with him. I scheduled the dentist the next day, and I already had the doctors scheduled. The stake president is going to be the death of me. I seriously cannot wait. I have had this impatience disease my whole life. It's a cure. I dunno how I got it. My mom or dad don't have it... when I get married I might actually pass away from it. AHHHHH!! I can't stop thinking about it. Plus I know that even after I get my papers in it will take forever because all of the people putting them in. But the sooner I get them in, the better. I'm trying to stay positive... It's so hard!!! The stake president it out of town next week and I don't think I can wait another week. But he told me to be patient, and I know that I can do it... I just keep praying for Heavenly Father to keep me patient... the sad thing is... it's working. I dunno what I would do if I hadn't prayed for it. I wouldn't be able to handle it. 

Ya this is kind of super pathetic (more than you know actually) that this is my troubles right now. People are out there dying and I'm complaining about waiting for the greatest thing that is going to happen to me in my life. Sorry. That's pretty selfish. I'm just so excited. I've been waiting forever to go on a mission, I should be able to control myself and wait just a little bit longer. 

Thanks for listening. ;) 

The Start :)

It's so funny how everything in my life has changed so quickly. School was my number one priority 5 days ago. I had been working so hard to get my GPA up and trying to figure out what classes I was going to be taking next semester. I was also trying to figure out how I could graduate so I could go on my mission as soon as I could but finish school before I left. Boys were my close second to school. I was looking to date someone seriously, but also just trying to let things happen and let to Lord guide my choices. School and a social life was taking over my life.

But now that I'm going on a mission EVERYTHING has changed.

Now school is kind of on the back burner (not so much that I'm not going to finish or pass) and my mission is all I'm worrying about. Believe it or not boys haven't even entered my mind since Saturday! Actually- I want to just stay away from them so there isn't any chance that I find that "one" and I don't get to go. I just want to scream the gospel to the world! I cannot wait. I just want to leave now. But I know I'm not ready. My bishop gave me some great advice to do while I'm preparing and I just know that he is inspired and called of God. I needed to hear those things. Because I have been slacking just a little bit on my prayers and I needed a way to make them more meaningful and personal. He gave me just the answer, which is actually the first advice. He told me that I needed to ask Heavenly Father to guide my life. Ask him for things specifically. Like asking me to have him help me find those I can teach, or find people to serve. Things like that in my everyday prayers, mornings especially will help.

You know what else I feel really lucky to have. My dad. I feel extremely lucky that I get to have him with me every step of the way on my mission. That is a huge blessing. I love him so much.

But I can already tell Satan is working on me. Well really- he's been after me my whole life, but I can feel it more lately. It really is true what all the missionaries go through. For me, it's just making my testimony stronger. I feel like I can conquer the world. He is angry right now. Especially with everything with politics, new missionaries, new temples. Everything. But that just means that we have more people to conquer him! We can do it. The last days are coming. It may seem scary, but it's coming! It may not be while we are alive, but we are definitely preparing, being prepared, and being prepared to teach our children. I dunno about you, but I can't wait!

Like they say in Hairspray... "You can either fight it, or rock out to it!"

I have to say... I think the LDS church is for sure rocking out to it! :)

Alma 29:9 "Perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy."

Memory #3- Priesthood Blessing

A few years ago I had this great/miserable experience at Flaming Gorge. I had just started my period the day we were going to leave. I don't really get cramps that much, but on our way there I started getting really really bad cramps. The worst I have ever gotten. They progressively got worse as we drove. We always stop at Walmart on our way in Vernal. I got some medicine. We kept driving. It didn't help. I felt like I literally was going to die. My mom called my cousin and asked what she could do. My mom used that thing where you rub your feet to try and help me feel better. That didn't do anything either. We realized that I was basically having contractions. I have never ever been in so much pain in my life and I swear that I never will be. I just wanted to die. We finally got to Flaming Gorge. We were basically planning on going home. My sisters would stay and my mom would take me home or to the doctors or something. But since my uncles were all up there my mom asked me if I wanted a blessing before we left. I of course said yes. Ok- I need to re-explain the pain I was in... ok I really can't. But seriously guys... it was incredibly bad. I have never even felt close to this pain ever in my life. My uncle Dale and EJ gave me a blessing. Immediately after I fell asleep for about an hour and a half. I woke up, and felt completely fine. I was able to have a super fun time that year and never had anymore pain. Actually, I haven't even had a tiny cramp since that day (I know. I'm pretty lucky).

I just know that the Priesthood is a very special gift from God. Priesthood blessings work, but just like prayer, it is still in God's own time and way. If the Priesthood holder listens to the spirit and is guided by the spirit you will receive an answer that is from God. Even though I don't have an immediate priesthood holder in my home I have so many around me that I know I can ask anytime for a blessing if I need one and I am so grateful for that. :)

This has to be a dream...

I had one of the happiest days of my life yesterday. I always think something exciting will be announced in conference like everyone gets free ice cream or something (ya no... I don't really know what would be exciting, but I always hope there is something like that). Or maybe something scary like we have to start polygamy again. All I know about those things is that whatever President Monson tells us to do, I will do it without question and without hesitation.
The announcement that the age of going on a mission has been lowered literally changed my life in a blink of an eye.
As President Monson was talking about the boys and changed the age I immediately hoped he would change the girls as well. I waited in anticipation... I thought he would just change it to 20 because he had only put the boys down one year. When I heard him say 19 I thought I was in a dream. I didn't know whether to cry or scream in excitement. In reality- I was so incredibly happy and in shock that I didn't know what to do. I felt like my insides were going to burst. I couldn't even cry because of it. But believe me- that came later. I can't say that I can think of a happier I have felt in my life. Or at least it's in the top 5 times when I have felt the most happiness in my life.
I was with my roommates at the time he announced it, and I have to admit- I don't remember a lot of the rest of the first session. My excitement was really getting to me. I went to work a little bit before the first session was over in complete happiness. I had a 10 hour and 45 minute shift ahead of me... I didn't care a bit. The only reason I didn't want to go was because I wanted to call and cry to my mom. I waited in anticipation all day just to be able to talk to my mom. All the cashiers would talk to me about it. Even the customers would. People were just thrilled about the news! I even got quite a few texts and facebook messages of people telling me that I was the first person they thought of when they heard the announcement. I can't tell you how much that means to me!
Finally I got off, but my family went to bed before I got home so I couldn't talk to them about it.
Instead I got to talk to Austin about it and then Zach. But on my car ride home I couldn't help but pour out my heart in gratitude and happiness to my Father in Heaven. I couldn't even control myself. I can't even explain the moment in words. I felt so close to my Father in Heaven and knew that He was there listening to every single word I was saying. This was an answer to my prayers that I did not expect. It just goes to show that we have no idea what is in store for us and Heavenly Father has a plan for us and it will not always follow what we want. I'm just lucky this time it was exactly what I wanted, just not at all what I expected.
I had been praying to find myself and know what I needed to be doing in my life because what I was doing just wasn't working. Sure I was going to school, working, making friends, reading my scriptures, going to church, all of that. It just felt like something was missing. I kept saying that to my family and friends. I just thought that I was missing a boyfriend/husband or something. Mainly because that is what I wanted so badly. But I was already planning on going on a mission. This just means I get to go earlier and it will be a little easier to have a plan for my life. I am going to drop everything and go. I will finish this semester at school and go when and where I get called. I cannot even wait. And I haven't even turned in my papers yet! This is going to be an agonizing next couple of months just waiting. But I know I can do it! At least I will have school occupying my thoughts to help!
I told my mom after the first session of Sunday conference. I had already texted her and my whole family basically knew me, and knew that I would be going. But I hadn't actually told her. Plus, I wanted to make sure that it was the right thing, and that I wasn't just too excited about it to not listen to the spirit. I fasted that morning. After conference was done I just knew I was supposed to go. I looked at her and said, "Mom, I'm going. I'm going on a mission." Then I just started balling. I told her my testimony and said that I knew President Monson was an instrument in God's hand because I had been praying for it. She hugged me and we cried together. It was definitely a moment I will cherish and never forget.

I just know without a single doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father knows our needs, wants, and he knows what is best for our church. I know President Monson is called of God and receives revelation through him. This is going to be a huge change in our church, but I know it will be for the better. And I can't wait to start serving people in need of the gospel for a year and a half of my life! I can't wait to have another experience like I did with Jackie. I can already see the impact that her having the gospel in her life has done. 2 of her friends are getting baptized now because of her. Because of course, this isn't for me, it's for the wonderful people that are ready to hear the gospel and I can't wait to be an instrument in my Heavenly Father's hand to find and teach them! :)

Memory #2- Shooter

I know I know, I'm just posting this. I procrastinated. But right now I'm kind of double procrastinating... I need to do my homework... that's even worse.

Ok so this one is going to be short.
My 9th grade year was my best year of basketball. I loved every second of it. I didn't miss one practice or game. I started and got my nick name "shooter."
Now- here is the fabulous story on how I got that name.
I had always play a 4 (forward) just because I was pretty tall. I never had even played a guard. My team was also really really good. We had won every single game we had played. Mainly because of my awesome coach and the program we had. Besides that- we had all been playing ball together for a while because of our club team The Gators.
But this one game half our team was sick. Literally half of them. Our main guard (Kassy) and our Center (Elle), and a bunch of other people. It was the worst. We were playing Mountain something... (I get so confused because of the high schools and stuff).
Towards the end of the game we weren't even close. I mean it was possible for us to catch up, but with out our main people it wasn't going to happen. I don't even remember how this happened but either my coach had told me to, or I just decided to shoot a 3. I think I was playing guard because of our lack of people. Ya ok I have no idea how it happened. But- I shot this 3 pointer... and made it? My team freaked out and so did I! Well, I actually acted very calm, but in my head I was jumping for joy. I had no idea where it came from! So then the next time we were coming down the court I decided to shoot it again. Swish. I made it again! What the heck? My team and the crowed just roared! Soooo of course, the next time we were down on our side again I decided to shoot again. The other teams parents kept saying get on her! I shot it again and made it. Seriously my team was freaking out. Next time down the court... I shot it again. But this time someone was on me and I barely missed it. We ended up losing the game, but not by very much. Coach Bettis started calling me shooter after that and that was my nickname from then on. I can't even explain how much I loved that :) I played shooting guard for the rest of the season and for the rest of my basketball career.
I even remember AF was the next game we played we lost by 1 but I think I made 4 3 pointers in that game as well (we only lost 2 games that season). The next time we played AF all I could hear was get number 21. They guarded me like crazy so I could never shoot. But the one time I actually got to shoot my arch was too high and the ball hit the other basketball hoop on the wall. That was super embarrassing. But the more embarrassing thing was that on the bus ride home I was giving people treats and I threw one to my coach and I hit the  top of the bus. Just like my shot. Everyone rolled on the ground laughing. That was awesome.
If I could go back to this time in my life I SO would. Beside the braces, my dad dying, and my acne.... but I just had so much fun playing basketball. That was all I had to worry about. It was awesome. Besides that I got to play basketball all the time with my dad and he was at every single one of my games and everyone knew him.

My awesome team! I still keep in touch with a lot of them today! Even my coaches! 

Oh gosh embarrassing... So glad I wasn't a pioneer. No make-up REALLY doesn't work for me. 

THAT WAS SO NOT SHORT!

Devotional- Gratitude

We had this great devotional yesterday about being grateful for things. Lets just say- I needed it. I haven't been the happiest camper lately, and there are a lot of reasons for that, but I've just been mean. I was trying to figure out how to change that and I have no idea how this didn't enter my brain because we have been taught this so much. Anyways. I started a gratitude journal and I know that it will help me! I guess stress just makes me a very angry person... but I'm so grateful for my family first of all for putting up with me. And my great friends (Christina, Kailey, and Jackie) for putting up with me. And my Heavenly Father, for always forgiving me even when I keep making these silly mistakes.

Relief Society Broadcast

I absolutely LOVED the Relief Society broadcast. Especially because I got to spend it with one of the most amazing women I know. :) I have made it a goal/tradition to always go to the brodcast with my mother. No matter how old I am. Yes, I know there will be exceptions, but I'm still going to try my hardest to always be there and spend that time with her. Maybe when all my sisters get older we can just make it one big fun day :)
This was one of my favorite quotes and I will probably remember it for the rest of my life-
"Things that aren't fair in this life will be made up in the next through the atonement."-Sister Linda K. Burton 
I couldn't help but think of my dad as I was listening to her talk. It's been kind of a sensitive subject and it always is around this time of the year. I miss him more than ever. I like how she said that it isn't fair. Well- I know that it isn't fair for me. Even Heavenly Father knows that it isn't fair for me not to have a dad here on earth. But isn't it even better that I have 2 fantastic dads waiting for me up in heaven? I can't wait to run and huge them both with tears of complete joy in my eyes. Our kind loving Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. Although it isn't always in sight and may not always be obvious, He knows us, and knows our wants and needs. It is going to be challenging. I can promise you that. I struggle almost every single day with not having my dad to call or cry to or even talk to. The thing that hurts the most is seeing my wonderful mother. I know she hurts more than anyone. But she stays strong and always has a positive attitude. You can see the hurt in her eyes sometimes. But She knows that it is our plan. I admire her and don't know how she does it. But she is teaching me to be strong. There are weak moments, but nothing that would ever shake my faith because of the example of my savior, mom, and dad. 

I also loved another quote- 

"We can feel of their love and compassion through our sorrows."

Their meaning our Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ. I never even thought about it that way. When I feel sad my first instinct isn't always to turn and talk to my Father in Heaven. But it should be, because we know that they are crying with us or empathizing with us. They care so much about our lives and want to be a part of it. 

The last thing was my sister Karly went to homecoming with Daxton :) She had a great time and I'm sure that she will remember it for a long time! I love her and am so happy for her! Plus- she looked so pretty in her dress :)