Mission Blog!

So maybe I am a little anxious for my mission. I don't want to make this another post about how I'm so excited and that it's sooooo long away (59 days)... because there are a lot of those lately.

But I had to tell you all something...

I have already made the blog for my mission! My mom will post my weekly emails to the blog and then share them on her Facebook. I. Am. So. Excited!!! (whoops... I talked about how I am so excited again)

There is nothing on it yet. Ok. That was obvious. But it's very very simple. But I love it!

If you want to have a look... here ya go! :)

Christ's Atonement

You know sometimes when people say- "oh, I totally get you" or "yeah, I totally understand."

Really people? 

I just want to scream in their face, NO! YA REALLY DON'T PAL! 

Because.... well... they don't.

There is only one person who can understand you, your feelings and emotions 100% of the time. 

That's it. 

No one else. 

People can get close that's for sure. 

I lost my dad.

Jimmy (no idea who Jimmy is) lost his mom. So he kind of understands. 

Gina (weird name) lost her dad. She understands a little more. 

Ashley (this is a real person in case you still think we were playing that other game) lost her dad, who was also my dad. She probably understands the closest. Mainly because her and I are similar in a lot of ways. But we are also very different. 

See that? Even someone as close to me as Ashley doesn't understand me completely. 

Everybody is so different. 

No two people on this earth are the same. 

So no two people can understand what each other is going through 100% even if they think they can. I'm sorry. That's just not how it works. 

That is why the atonement is so important and had to happen. There are other reasons, but I just love to know, and it gives me comfort to know, that my brother Jesus Christ, knows EXACTLY what I am going through. I can talk to him about it. He can help me through. He really can say, "I know how you feel. I've been there. Let me help you through it because I overcame it." 

He knows.

I know he knows. 

Feeling the power of the atonement in my life has helped my find peace and strength to carry on even in my darkest times. 

And that is why we have it in our lives.

I REALLY don't think you want to know what goes through my head

I feel like I should just write down things that go through my head as I'm writing this... it will be very boring. But I think it might just help me relieve somethings.... and it would help if I knew it was public.

And this is on a good day.... I don't even want to tell you about the bad.

Right now I am really just loving life. I just got finished watched 2 new episodes of The Office. I am really confused though because I watched the most recent one last week like I always do, but there were 2 new ones on hulu this time. Best. Day. Ever! I just got done talking to one of my best friends on the phone, laughing and having fun. I  received and read a letter from Elder Trotter. Work was a blast today and I'm very grateful that I'm not blind from the sausage juice...
My window is open and my fan is on. And guess what... I'm still hot! Holy cow! I'm in shorts and a short sleeve shirt! How on earth did I get called to the hottest place in America? I get hot very easily. It's not very often that I'm very cold. Plus, I get really uncomfortable when I'm hot as well.
I love most of the people I work with. They are just hilarious and we have so much fun. I pretty much have a sweet job. My cute cousins baby shower is tomorrow and then my other cute cousins baby blessing is on Sunday! I'm prepared for an awesome weekend! I'm even about to go to my sisters game.
I've been having trouble finding skirts. They don't quite have the spring clothes out and all the skirts in the mall are too heavy of a fabric. Or they are too short. Or too long. Or too tight. I have a feeling I will be getting most things from the missionary mall.
I was having kind of a rough week with my self esteem and things, but it's been better the past few days. I really don't know what was going on. I was being so hard and down on myself. Being with my mom yesterday really helped. Also- actually finally being able to get really ready for the day helped a lot too. With my work I don't really do my hair and when I get home I just change into something comfortable. Good stuff. My mission feels closer. It will be exactly 60 days tomorrow and 2 months away on Sunday.
I really like my family. A lot.
We are getting our basement finished soon! Hopefully. If everything goes as planned. The only thing I wanted was to get mine done before my farewell so we could have more room. Our house is not big. But it's not really small either. It's very... average. But having the basement finished would give us SO much more room and would be perfect for a farewell! But I don't think it will happen. The guy who is doing it is out of town for this week and won't be able to get us the bid till next week. And then there is getting is started and everything. They said 2 months. I'll be gone by then if they start in 2 weeks.
My dog is really getting old. It's sad. I really hope she doesn't die on my mission. But then maybe it would be easier...
My mom is really happy. It's been a rough couple of months for our family. There have been some hard days with missing my dad. But we just keep going!
Katelyn is getting better at basketball.
Ashley is stressing about the end of a season. I don't know what she's going to do with her life when she doesn't have basketball...
Karly is doing the pageant! I can't wait to help her! I know that she'll do good! There are 19 girls doing it this year! Darcey was freaking out!
I'm good. You know. I'm just me. I feel extremely un prepared for my mission. Hopefully that will all change soon. I found this awesome blog to help sisters prepare for their missions. Already it has helped me sooooo much!
I'm going up to visit Zach next weekend! That'll be fun!
Wow. I cannot set up lamps.
I think I need to take a shower.
Hamburgers are soooooo good sometimes.
No. I do not think setting up a shed would be very much fun at all.
Salt would not be good on top of chocolate cookies.
It's weird. I'm more excited to send out my package to Elder Miller than he will be receiving it!
Sometimes I just want to slam people's heads on the wall and knock some sense into them...
I have been dreaming about things too much lately. I think I've got my whole life planned out. I mean everything. But I know I don't. I hope that I don't get heart broken in the end. Who am I kidding? Of course I will.
I have amazing friends.
I have an amazing and true religion that I wish I could just scream at people and tell them everything that I know!
Someone need to conrol me so I don't eat all of Ash's toblerone...
I just want to sleep right now.
Why the heck am I writing this....?
I wish American Idol was on every single night.
How do they make stuffed animals...
Tolblerone gets stuck in your teeth so much!!!
Why do my only pair of pants that aren't ripped have to be too big for me all of the sudden. I guess that's a good thing. No.
Smoking is so stupid. Like seriously. Probably one of thee dumbest things you could do.... sorry. I know that was probably offensive to people. But this is what this post is all about. Tell you stuff that is in my head right now.
My dad used to watch Andy Grammer a lot. My mom was watching is when I came home from work today. I really liked it.
I miss my dad a lot. Every single day is a struggle.
I would rather go wait in line at the DMV for 10 days then go and get the cement off the back of my front teeth again.
My orthodontist makes me want to pull all my teeth out and get dentures.
Plastic for your teeth cannot cost 35$ on a discount. That's impossible. Yet I am in debt 70$ because I like my teeth to be straight.
Winter is the best because you do not have to shave your legs.

Yeah. That helped.

Letter to me

There is a song by Brad Paisley called "Letter to Me." And before I go on, I think you all need to listen to it. It is truly awesome. Here ya go.
But I was listening to it and I was like ok if I could write one of these letters. Number one, it would not be as good as this one. But number two I have no idea what I would actually put in it...

I'd probably say to pay more attention to the road when you are driving Emily's car. I wouldn't mind going back to fix that. I have learned to pay a LOT better attention to the road from that. But I wouldn't call the cops so I could have saved 200$ and an hour of my life from traffic school.

I'd also probably tell myself to be a better girl friend to Austin. I know I know. Bear with me. I was horrible to him. In my small defense he was my first, but I just never learned how to be a good girlfriend for the whole year. You'd have thought that I would have figured it out by then. But I do nto regret actually going out with him. Mainly because I learned SOOO much about myself, friends, and relationships. It was a HUGE learning experience, and we had a TON of fun! That, I wouldn't take back.

I would have warned myself to pay a little better attention in Math and Astronomy. My first 2 C's were in my Junior year in those classes.

As of right now, I really can't think of anything else. But As you can see, it is hard for me to think of really anything huge that I would have changed in my life. Some people would think I would like to warn myself of my dads brain tumor earlier so maybe they could have done more. Of course I would give anything right now to have my dad with me. But you know what, I do. I get to have my dad on my mission with me. That, really is a true blessing for me. But really- I don't have any real regrets.
I have learned so much in my life from my mistakes. They have made me who I am today. If I were to change anything, I wouldn't have as strong of a testimony, or as good of friends. I wouldn't have as much knowledge about the "real world" either. Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. It is meant to try us and help us grow, because sometimes their aren't any other ways to learn things than by making our own mistakes. Although those times can be extremely rough, if we come out on top with our Heavenly Father's help we will grow more than we ever even thought possible. And that is why looking back I don't have any real huge regrets, because I would not be the person I am today without them. :) and that's how life is designed to be. (I still love you Brad Paisley)

NO. It really hasn't been that long.

I really do feel like I haven't blogged in FOREVER! But guys, looking back, it's really only been... a week and a half... crap. My days are going by slow again. Whhhhhyyy!? 66 days. But it still feels like an eternity. I feel really awful complaining about it, because some people do not even get to go on missions... I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity. And I never want to be ungrateful or take it for granted (wait... that word. Weird...) because I feel so privileged to be able to go serve the Lord. I keep saying the same thing over and over again. My life is in repeat mode right now. Working so much is getting to me. People are still surprised about when I am going. I know someone who got their call this past week and are leaving March 13th. It's rough. But I KNOW THERE IS A REASON (if I keep saying it maybe it will finally stick).
Here are some fun pictures to look at since this was a pretty boring post.

Coming home from the Provo temple after we went through with Riley to get his own endowments. :) 

What we do on Saturday mornings when we are bored. 

Super crooked. I was walking...

The other fun things we do on Saturday morning....

They were actually pretty chill for being old grandmas being pulled around.

The poem we wrote in sacrament meeting... lovely. At least it gets to the point of church on the last line right?  

Thee definition of awesome

Would be, the BYU game yesterday.

Aren't we lovely people? 

I dragged Ashley because frankly (weird word that I have never used), I don't get why my family doesn't like to go to the basketball games more. We are huge BYU fans, we are HUGE basketball fans, and we have 4 all sports passes. Weird I know. Let me know when you figure out why this is the case... because I really do not understand. I usually have to beg, plead, cry, and bargain to get them to even one game. You can't go to a basketball game yourself... right?

If you would like to keep reading you will get an update on the game, it's not very exciting... but I would just really love to look back at this epic thing.

Anyways. I took her and then we went with Christina. It was a super fun game. We were doing really good the whole first half. We thought for sure we had it. Then when we started the second half within the first like minute they were caught up. But anyways, at the end we were tied with about 4 seconds left. Tyler Haws then made an A-MAZING basket and we were ahead with 2.4 seconds left. We all screamed and freaked out like we won. Holy cow. It was an awesome moment! SOO exciting! The next thing you know everyone in the crowd does a huge sigh and we are covering our mouths... with 2.4 seconds left St. Mary threw a half court shot... and MADE IT!
Made it.
Guys, they made it....
We all stood in complete shock and awe. They reviewed it and it was real. It wasn't a dream. It sucked. A lot. Huuuuuuuuh. Disappointing. 69-70. But hey, at least we had fun.

Here is what we looked at in the moment. We took these in Christina dorm because we didn't want to get stuck in the Marriot Center forever. Here is the caption that goes with it- "We won! We won! Thank you Tyler Haws! 2 points with 2 seconds left! 69-67! Screamed forever and a half... NO! NO! NO! It was from half court that did NOT go in! Are you kidding me? That NEVER goes in! Go die. Final disappointing score 69-70. We will go cry now. 

 And I did learn something... BYU is where I am supposed to go. I had been seriously considering/thinking about transferring to Utah State when I got home from my mission. I know that's crazy. But I kept thinking that BYU was too hard and stuff. I still don't know what I'm going to do when I get home, but really- it doesn't matter right now!
76 days!
I also learned that you should always listen to the advice of people wiser than you (Ashley).

Oh dreams...

Normally I don't remember my dreams. But when I do, they are usually really really weird and pointless. But last night I had the weirdest and most real dream that I have ever had. Of course it took place at work (because that's all I have been doing lately) and involved one of my favorite co-workers and one of my favorite people in the whole world. It was not happy though. I woke up and once I finally realized that it was a dream, the same feelings in my dream haven't gone away. It wasn't like love or anything, just like sadness... I don't really want to tell it...
It literally is like sticking with me and I can't seem to shake it off. The feelings seem real, like it totally could have happened. I don't even know how to explain it all, but it really freaked me out more than any nightmare I've ever had. Ugh. Dreams can really be amazing and awesome. But they can also really suck. :P